Jenni Chiu: On Replacing the Judgy Pants With Talky Pants

postpartum depression, mental healthDear new mom,

Your world is officially rocked.

You have been handed a squishy, little, mewling babe.  This baby is probably angelic and terrifying at the same time.  Along with this baby, you have unknowingly been handed “judgy pants.”  Unfortunately, you may find that these pants fit very well.  Try your damndest not to wear them… not when hearing about, or being around other mothers… and especially not in your alone moments at home.

I had the judgy pants.  I may have even had them before my first baby was born, because I spent my pregnancy days reading, researching, taking parenting classes, and had come to the conclusion that I was going to be the perfect mother.

From the day I brought that baby home, I was not. [Read more...]

For Aimee Zeigler, Lost to Postpartum Psychosis

Aimee ZieglerI’m trying to get ready for our annual Mother’s Day Rally for Moms’ Mental Health this Sunday. Frankly, I’m woefully behind. I got a little sidetracked yesterday writing a story for Babble about why most mothers support other mothers’ choices. They were words that needed to be written, given TIME magazine’s latest ploy to make us question whether we are good enough mothers. We are all MOM ENOUGH.

Then, this morning, someone forwards me a link on Twitter from writer Aaron Polson.  Aaron lost his wife and mother of his three children, Aimee Zeigler, on April 2nd to postpartum psychosis.  I read the words of his loss and I’m crushed into a million pieces. I know, and you know, how devastating these illnesses can be. We know how few people are aware of the symptoms of postpartum psychosis, or that it even exists. We know how little the medical community is prepared, sometimes, to help moms with severe postnatal illness or recognize what a danger the illness can be.

I don’t know Aaron, but I’m so proud of him for writing the truth of his wife’s life. What happened to her.  This is why I do what I do. This is why we are all speaking so loudly and writing so many words and trying so hard to make sure everyone can hear us. It’s for Aimee. And for all the other mothers and babies we have lost so tragically.

Please go read Aaron’s story and offer your support.

And by the way, if you ask me, THIS is the stuff TIME magazine ought to be writing about.

The Devil Was After My Child: A Story of Postpartum Psychosis

Blogger Jenny Chiu, who writes at Mommy Nanibooboo, shares her story of postpartum psychosis today on her blog. It’s not often that I see stories of this illness to share with you, so I’m so grateful that she has told her story today because I know how needed it is.

Here’s a bit of it:

The devil was after my child.

We didn’t baptize him.  Perhaps the devil already had a hold on him.  He wasn’t even like a baby – he was always screaming, always red faced, he looked odd and foreign to me.

I gripped the bedsheet tighter.

Something wasn’t right.  Was I losing my mind?  It’s sleep deprivation… if I just closed my eyes these thoughts would go away.  Perhaps I was dreaming that very second…

 Go read the rest of her story here. Support Jenny, who has bravely shared her story so that others might recognize the signs.
Read and bookmark The Symptoms of Postpartum Psychosis in Plain Mama English so that you will be aware and can help others who may need help. Postpartum psychosis is a psychiatric emergency. It is important to reach out and get help for the women who suffer from it.

Could “Postpartum Schizophrenia” Explain Casey Anthony’s Behavior?

Casey AnthonyIn an interview with Dr. Phil that aired this week, the mother of Casey Anthony explained away her daughter’s behavior by blaming everything from a possible tumor to seizures to “postpartum schizophrenia.”

First, to answer what I know is your immediate question, no, in my seven years as a national advocate for women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders I have not heard of postpartum schizophrenia.  I have heard of postpartum psychosis, which can arise due to underlying bipolar disorder, previous psychotic episodes, or a family history of such.  Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way …

As reported by ABC News, Cindy pondered, “I’m almost wondering if she didn’t develop postpartum schizophrenia or some issue after her pregnancy, a hormonal type of illness.”

[Read more...]

What Ms. B. Monaghan Taught Me About Morality

infanticideWhen Ms. B. Monaghan’s American Thought & Language class began, my fellow Michigan State University students and I were directed to obtain a three-ring presentation binder.  On the cover of the binder we were to write the title “My Power In My Hand.”  Inside the binder, on page 2, we were to type the general objective of our class: “To become intelligent and compassionate observers of, and participate in, the great human drama going on around us and within us.”

Ms. B. Monaghan’s class met three days a week, and she made us write papers three days a week.   Here were some of the questions we were to answer in those papers:

Would you kill your father for freedom?

Who should die in times of crisis?

Who should get an education when spaces are limited?

“I’m 17 years old,” I remember thinking. “I’m a freshman in college.  I have no idea why you’re asking me these questions. What kind of class is this?” [Read more...]

Mother Charged With Murder Had Been Treated for Postpartum Depression

This post may be upsetting if you are currently suffering from a perinatal mood or anxiety disorder.

A baby has died and a mother is charged with murder.

I hate writing about these things.  I’d almost rather pretend they haven’t happened.  Sonia Hermosillo, a mother of three who had apparently been treated for postpartum depression, threw her seven-month-old son off of a four-story parking garage.  Sadly, he passed away from his injuries yesterday.

[Read more...]

Looking Back At Andrea Yates, 10 Years After the Tragedy

Ten years. How can it be ten years already?

It was on June 20, 2001, that the tragedy happened. Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the midst of postpartum psychosis. That was just a few months before my sweet boy, my first child, was born in September.

In the fall of 2001, I was suffering. Scared and sick and feeling as though I was the worst mother in the world. And I kept seeing Andrea’s face, the image of her repeated so many times on the TV screen looking so slack and empty, standing there in her orange jumpsuit. I believed it was possible that I was her. I could be standing there, too.

I didn’t know about the spectrum of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. I didn’t realize the difference between the intrusive thoughts of postpartum OCD and the delusions of postpartum psychosis. I didn’t know there were hundreds of thousands of women suffering at the very same time alongside of me. As if the symptoms of these illnesses aren’t enough, we are further traumatized by the stigma and lack of support and services available to us when we suffer them.

I know that the tragedy of the Yates family created more awareness. I know I should be looking at all that has been accomplished over the last ten years, butI just don’t feel like saying “It’s been 10 years and look how much has changed!”

Maybe it’s because I hear from so many of you each and every day who still feel confused and stigmatized. There are still so many who don’t know where to go or what to do to get help, or for whom help is not available because of where you live or how much you can afford. Instead, I feel like shouting, “It’s been 10 years, and why is it that doctors are still telling moms they’ve never heard of antenatal depression or postpartum OCD?! Why is it that only 15% of women are receiving treatment for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders?! Why have none of the funds for the Mother’s Act been appropriated?”

I don’t want to stand by and watch as another family falls victim to these illnesses, and another and another. It’s not okay that mothers and babies die, or that mothers sit in jail or psychiatric wards for the rest of their lives. It’s not okay that friends and families grieve. I can’t accept how many mothers never get the help they need, and endlessly fret about how their suffering may have harmed their children.

We shouldn’t need a tragedy to be motivated to take action to support the mental health of our nation’s mothers. Where are you, powerful brands and foundations with the money to help us? Don’t you know that treating PPD is one of the best deals around? It’s a buy-one-get-one-free, because when you ensure the mental health of the mom you are protecting the mental health of the child.

Where are you, mothers of America, including all of those who’ve never had PPD and never will? Do you realize this is an issue that affects us all? Even if you haven’t had postpartum depression, your daughter or your son’s wife might. Someone in your neighborhood or temple or congregation or office may need a lifeline. You may someday be teaching a child whose mother was never treated, or working with a husband who is desperate to find help for his wife. Will the resources you seek then be available to you?

Ten years later, in view of all the Yates family and so many other families have sacrificed, we must collectively demand that more is done to address the most common complication of childbirth. It shouldn’t be just perinatal mood and anxiety disorder advocates and sufferers who care about this. It should be every single entity that has any concern whatsoever for the health of America’s families.

Time Magazine & “Psychotic Nut Job” Mothers

"Psychotic nut jobs." That's the term used in a recent Time magazine Healthland piece about mothers who kill their newborns.

Time, have we not already been over the issue of mental health stigma and poor reporting with you?

Good grief. I'm appalled.

Postpartum Psychosis in the Early 1900s

Postpartum Progress reader Alison S. sent me this lovely email, and I asked her if I could post it here to share it with you. She said she stumbled across a memoir that she felt was perfect proof that postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis are not illnesses of spoiled, Western women …

It’s a thin book called “Rachel Calof’s Story.” It is the memoirs of a Jewish Russian immigrant to North Dakota. She was an orphan, and came to the U.S. in 1894. In 1936, at the age of 60, she sat down and wrote the story of her life in a notebook. She was not a “writer”, just a mother and farm wife. In 1995, the University of Indiana translated her notebook from Yiddish into English and published it.
The hardships and horrors that this woman faced in her life are almost unimaginable to me. She is beaten and neglected as a child, she is sent across the ocean to marry a man she has never met, her entire family nearly starves to death,she survives a North Dakota winter in a 12 x 14shack with four other adults, a cow and twenty chickens for six months, she bears seven children within eight years and gives birth to all of them without medical assistance, she undergoes an unanesthesized D&C to remove aseptic miscarriage from her uterus,the entire homestead is nearly lost in aterrible storm, a child is burned horribly on the woodstove and she nearly dies multiple times.
What is most striking to me about these memoirs, though, is the section that she devotes to describing in detail the postpartum mental illness (which seems to be postpartum psychosis) that she experienced after the birth of her first child. Of her 87 page journal, fully 11.5 pages are devoted to the six weeks after her daughter’s birth. I find it interesting that with all that happened in her life, she chose to devote more than 13% of her memoirs to telling this story.And what a story.Within a few days of the birth she becomes psychotic. She isalmost unable to sleep or eat. For weeks, she experiences terrifying visual hallucinations of demons and auditory command hallucinations to “give us your child, or else we will take you and the child.” She sits at the side of the baby’s bed with a knife.
Her mother-in-law is aware of her insanity, but blames her for it and threatens her. Becausehe is gone so often (working as a farm hand miles from their home), and because shemakes up elaborate excuses for her bizarre behaviors, Rachel is able to hide her illness from her husband “with the cleverness of the deranged” for nearly six weeks. At that point the hallucinations become even more pronounced, and they find her screaming out on the prairie. A kindly female relative is finally called in who gently and patiently nurses her back to health.
So there it is: proof that perinatal mood and anxiety disorders are not a new “trendy invention” of spoiled women. The two things that I love most about the story are these:
1. The wisdom that Rachel has looking back. She is able to look back from a place of being fully recovered and callitwhat it was: “a fearful illness of the mind, a sickness.” I wish that everyone here in 2010 could have the wisdom that Rachel had in 1936 when she wrote the memoirs.
2. She goes on to survive and thrive! All of her children live, the farm becomes prosperous, she becomes arespected leader in her community, and she livesa long life with an adoring family.

Two Moms Speak Up About Psychosis & New Motherhood

I’m having a hard time focusing today ladies. Spent the weekend in the NC mountains with my children, where the weather was just lovely. Now I’m trying to catch up on email and Twitter. Two great things I want to point out to you today:

The first is an op-ed by PSI coordinator Hajara Kutty, which appeared in Canada’s National Post in response to the current court case that is looking at whether Canada should have a special infanticide defense. She writes about the fact that we could likely avoid this discussion altogether if we just took better care of new mothers. I had been meaning to write about this issue myself, but when I saw Hajara’s piece I knew I didn’t need to. She did an absolutely beautiful job.

The second is a post from Beth Anne at Heir to Blair, writing openly about her psychotic episode while suffering from severe postpartum depression. Experiencing psychosis in any form is a very scary thing, and very few people write about it openly which is understandable given the stigma that exists. But Beth Anne told her story last week, and I’m glad she did.

Also, if you are suffering and need support, come join the PPD Chat today on Twitter at 1pm Eastern. Just use the hashtag #PPDChat.