What is intense parenting, and why are moms who do it so miserable? Over at my Something Fierce column on Babble I’m sharing the five beliefs of moms who practice Intense Parenting.
I think those of you with PPD and anxiety need to know about these beliefs, since researchers have found they lead to mothers being less happy, and even … wait for it … clinically depressed. I know I had at least one of these beliefs from the minute my first child was born, and it helped lead me to my struggle with postpartum anxiety. I’m already hearing from many readers who say they’ve had similar issues.
I hope you’ll come visit me over at Something Fierce to find out more about intense parenting and what you may be able to do to help yourself be a happier mother.
While I don’t subscribe to ‘Intense Parenting’ I did fall into the trap of thinking that I needed to occupy my baby with nurturing and enriching activity every moment of every day.
I was ok when he was a newborn understanding that he just needed to eat and sleep, but around 6 weeks I began to feel like I was failing him. I didn’t have a mobile up above his bassinet or his crib etc. and I was terrified to the point of panic that I was condemning him to a life of underachievement. It got worse as he got older, I questioned whether I was reading to him enough, if he had the right toys to promote development, if I was talking to him enough to get language development started.
As you can imagine it produced a great deal of anxiety and while I didn’t get the full whack of PPD until I stopped breast feeding and my hormones went wild, this anxiety was there from the start.
I wish I could go back and tell myself that it was all ok, that I was doing exactly what my child needed and that he would turn out be delightfully precocious.
Oh my. All 5 at the beginning of parenthood and even now 4 years later it’s hard to shake them sometimes. Hindsight’s a b%$@*!