When I was trying to get pregnant the first time, a friend of mine shared with me a secret weapon that she said neverfailed: a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility". She told me that every woman she had met who read this book had gotten pregnant. I read the book, did what it said, and presto change-o, I got pregnant lickety-split. It was nice to read a book that taughtme in no uncertain terms about exactly how a woman's body works– no onetalked about these things in middle school health class –and how to try and use that to your advantage. I liked being "in charge" of my fertility, as much as one can be anyway. After my son was born and I got postpartum OCD, though, there was no book called "Taking Charge of Your Moods". If there had been, I would have read it word for word.
This is why I was happy to see a post from Therese Borchard at the Beyond Blue blog on Beliefnet sharing 3 ways to control moods in a post from Larry Drain at the Hopeworks Community blog. (Yes, I'm reposting a repost in blog terminology — would that make it a rerepost?)
Larry talks about how to prevent, cope with and learn from moods. I think this is an important lesson for us all, so read his post. Yes, there is medication. Yes, there is therapy. Yes, there is exercise and nutrition. There are other methods under study as well, such as light therapy and transcranial magnetic stimulation. But there's also such a thing as self-help. We have a responsibility to do all we can to learn how to lessen the pain we are going through when we have PPD or anxiety. To not indulge in the negative thinking and beliefs, but to workto prevent them as much as one can. Every little bit helps.
As Therese aptly writes:
"…sometimes, despite my best efforts at prevention, I still land in the Black Hole. I'm especially vulnerable to stress caused by problems and complication in my kids' lives, and regrettably I can't control that … at least not completely. So I have to just deal with my mood, as ugly it is, by doing just as Larry suggested: First I treat the collateral damage. I pick up the messes in whatever way I can. Then I try like hell to shift the momentum.
I especially love this wisdom of Larry's: A lot of coping is tied up with how you process your experience and the plans you have for support when you can no longer trust the way you process your experience. It means knowing that because something "feels so" doesn't make it so."
I'll never forget my friend Crystal (love you girl!) telling me to get off my ass and take charge of my recovery when I was very, very ill and my first psychiatrist was making me worse instead of better while I was suffering from postpartum OCD. She did what best friends should do: she looked me squarein the eye and told me the truth. Even though I was weakened frominsomniaand inadequate nutrition and intrusive thoughts and all the rest, she dressed me down thoroughly, reminding me that there was no better person to speak up for myself and demand better than ME. At first I thought she was crazy to give me such a hard time when I was already at the bottom of the barrel. For a brief moment I thought about firing her as a friend. Butthen I realized shewas right. I had to do what I could to get better professional help (which I did) andI also had to work harder to monitor myself and not allow spinning even further into the abyss (which I did). You can do it too.
Thank you Katharine
Larry Drain