Oh Gawker, you’re so awesome. Clearly you understand the significance of postpartum depression, how painful and devastating it is for a new mom — even a celebrity mom — and for her partner. That’s why you printed this today:
“This A list celebrity couple is taking a break. Apparently the new baby in their life has caused some post partum depression for the mother and she really does not want to be around her significant other so they are spending all their time apart for now except when required for some type of previously scheduled joint appearance. Apparently the mother is also seeing the same doctor who treated this B++ actress who is married to a has been A+ movie actor.”
Because really, when a new family that needs all the support that it can get has its struggles printed for the world to see that’s so helpful. Not.
Whoever this mom is, what is happening to her is not abnormal. Many moms with postpartum depression feel a compelling need to escape. That’s how awful having PPD is. You don’t know how to fix it or if you’ll ever get better and you just want to run away and save everybody the heartache. It is often the case that mothers with PPD not only don’t feel connected to their baby, they do not feel connected to their spouse or significant other either.
The headline for Gawker’s piece is “Which Couple Split Up Because of Postpartum Depression?” How do we know they split up? Why do you have to say it like that? Maybe this celebrity mom is just in the biggest fight of her life and is hanging on by a thread and doing whatever she can. Maybe her husband doesn’t have any idea how to support her, or hasn’t been supportive at all, or just doesn’t recognize the woman he’s married to right now. Trust me, she doesn’t recognize herself either. Maybe through continued professional help all this can be repaired. There’s no reason why it can’t be. So c’mon Gawker. It’s Be Nice on the Internet Week.
This just shows how ill-informed and mean spirited some people can be. It truly is awful and consuming, and not something anyone wants sensationalized for the sake of a cheap grubby laugh.
Unfortunately you can't fix 'stupid!'
I am so thankful that I don't feel this way toward my husband. I have a nearly 7 week old, have PPD, and it's been difficult bonding with her. Yesterday I sobbed for nearly 4 hours and I feel all these things like dying to escape, run away, and think that everyone would be better of without me.
This makes me realize I'm fortunate I'm still so in love my husband and actually miss our alone time.
I never really thought about celebrities going through this. I generally could care less about their public or private lives, but the idea of someone writing a tabloid editorial about one of the hardest things in my life is horrifying.
I'm so sorry you had such a hard day yesterday Elaine. We understand how you are feeling completely. Please know that one day you won't feel like this anymore. Just be patient with yourself and give yourself the time to recover.
– K
Thank you! I am having good days as well and credit a supportive husband and antidepressants to that. I try to focus on the good days and not the bad.
I had a similar experience with PPD starting in Dec 2010. Thankfully I was able to bond with my baby, but I really loathed my husband. He was incredibly unsupportive though, and had been before I even got pregnant. He would always criticize/belittle me and downplay my accomplishments. He would even withold affection from me becuase he was angry, but would refuse to communicate what he was angry about. When I reached out to him about my PPD when my son was about 6 wks old he told me that I was "selfish" and should "just stop thinking those thoughts." Needless to say we're getting divorced now. I think the PPD did have some role in this, but oddly enough I believe it was a positive role. Its a well-documented fact that women who are already experiencing marital problems are at a higher risk for getting PPD. Maybe that's what happened with this couple? As for me I realized that I could not overcome my depression if I continued to stay in an unhealthy relationship. My son is now 14 months and I am still experiencing PPD but I must say that it is finally getting better now that I realized the main culprit–an emotionally abusive relationship. I strongly urge other women experiencing PPD to take a look at the relationships in their lives. Sometimes it can be as simple as another person bringing you down (of course compounded by the hormonal & physical whirlwind that occurs after you have a baby). I hope this helps someone out there in a similar situation. God bless.
RobinNicky, I hope you continue to get better. It is important for women to be aware of the relationships they are in, but it is also important to be very careful on how you judge said same when in the midst of the depression. Depression lies. And it sounds so true and sincere. I am by no means saying that is the case in your situation, but it can be. I know a few women who have almost left wonderful relationships due to the lies of ppd/ppa.
This is sad and hard to read. It is clueless and harsh.
So true!
PPD is a darkness that no one can fully understand until they live it.
The tabloids twist it and are often so very wrong.
I need to shake my head.
A lot.
I daydreamed about escaping every day.
I had plans of where I'd go. How I'd sneak out.
I wanted to escape because I felt like I was the burden.
And I thought that if I left, I'd find me again.
Once again, the media will do anything for a "saucy" story…and leave out important parts like "What is posptartum depression" "WHat are the symptoms" "Where can you get help"…sigh.