We are going to have a religious discussion now, so everyone get ready. If you don't think you can be ready, don't read any further. And before I start I want you to BE VERY CLEAR that I welcome and embrace anyone and everyone who comes to this site, regardless of your ideology. I do not judge you because of what you believe or don't believe. OK, here goes …
Lately I've had more than a few experiences speaking with Christian women suffering from perinatal mood disorders. It saddens me that many of them believe it is a spiritual failing on their part that led to their illness. Some are taught this at an early age, others are told by people they trust when they're right in the middle of suffering. I am aware of one case where a woman actually committed suicide after being told by those closest to her that she was sick because she wasn't "right with God". Well here is what I know for certain — PPD is not a punishment from GOD.
I was reminded of this issue by reading a post just now entitled "What I Wish I'd Been Told" by a young Christian woman identified as "rocknrollmandie." Here is part of her courageous post:
I grew up in a denomination that taught (to my understanding) that any mental illness can be traced to unrepented sin in one's life. This not only left me wondering what I had done wrong whenever I experienced depression or anxiety, but it unfortunately caused me to wrongly judge those who struggled with similar issues. I also grew up under the impression that medicating a mental illness was unnecessary and only covered up the issue.
She goes on to discuss her experience with postpartum depression, and at the end she asks whether others feel guilty for having emotional struggles.
I have avoided discussing my personal faith on this site because I never want to give an impression of exclusion of others. But I want you to know I am a Christian who has been through PPD and gotten better with medication. I know that PPD is NOT a spiritual failing. Does anyone really imagine that if Jesus were here sitting across the table from us he would say "It's your own fault for not praying hard enough"? In my mind, I felt the God I believe in put His arms around me and tell me it would be OK, that I needed to believe I would get better, and that my recovery could include spiritual counseling and/or therapy and/or medication. Whatever it took to get better and be the kind of mom He wanted me to be. I think that whatever higher power you believe in would do the same.
The only kind of people who can say these illnesses aren't real are the people who've never had them.
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AMEN!…..You said it very well here! Thanks for your continued, strong voice against the misinformation about PPD that unfortunately still proliferates in our society.
You said it so well! And hence the reason I felt led to found Out of the Valley Ministries (www.outofthevalley.org) for this very reason, Katherine. I make it very clear on my site that any PPMD is NOT because of a lack of faith or prayer or sin or any of that, and Jesus has NOT abandoned you and is IN FACT carrying you through this horrible valley. The same with meds – God granted the talents and gifts to those to develop meds to help us get better. I could go on and on… To think one has been told they are sick because of not being right with God, it makes me ill to my stomach. And for those that think they can get better simply with faith, know that God works in a variety of ways, and that includes medicines, counseling, medical professionals, and so much more. It takes faith to trust that. Know that even now He will never leave you nor forsake you. He loves you more than you know.
Katherine,
Thank you for your courage and willingness to bring this particular part of the PPMD issue to light.
During my experience with prenatal depression, one could claim I was "not right with God." I forsook Him. I cussed him out on a regular basis. The only prayers I offered Him were about how angry I was to find myself in that place – after having suffered and recovered from PPD after my previous child's birth.
But I recovered. With the help of medication, couseling, and the diligent presence of my husband, family, friends, and my priest. She came to my home once a week. I refused to pray with her. She came anyway.
In retrospect, I now realize I am no less "right with God" now than I was then, or before the experience I described above. God loved me enough to carry me through that experience even when I didn't believe that He was doing it. I can't think of a better example of unconditional love.
I was 3 years postpartum and just coming off of my meds when I spent the day with a great friend who is deeply spiritual. She lives out of state so I don't see her often and she was asking a lot about my PPD and what it was like. She then went on to tell me that it was the devil and the devil had found a weakness in me and tried to get to my soul through that weakness. Luckily, I had my wits about me and knew this was a bunch of crud. I have help nothing against this woman because that is what she believes and we are all entitled to our beliefs. It just furthered my theory that some people "just don't get it."
A major "Aha" moment I had with my PPD was when I realized not that 'it was the devil' doing it, but that a part of my depression was spiritual. PPD was taking me out largely because of lies that I was believing about myself and about God. When I realized that they were LIES that were 'attacking' me, I straightened up a little bit and was able to see my worth and see tha tI had not brought this on myself. I could see my place in the battle, and I could believe that God was fighting for me and for my heart.
That sounds so mumbo-jumboey, but the experience of it has been very real, and it was really the turning point for me.
Our beautiful little girl Chloe was born nine months ago. She is our third child. Three months after she was born I began experiencing what I now know as Postpartum Anxiety with a little OCD thrown in for good measure. I am finally on a medication that is working very well for me. And little by little, I am making my way back to "Me". I'm not where I will be…but, I thank the Lord that I am not where I was. This has been the biggest challenge of my life. I too am a Christian. And, in spite of the fear that this trial has brought into my life, I know with all my heart that the God I serve, loves me so much. He's not mad at me. He's madly in love with me. So, while He allows trials to come into our lives to strengthen our faith in Him. I don't beleive He ever uses suffering or sickness as a punishment for sin. During these trying months of being sick, God has shown me so many things. I truly beleive that if we never had to endure hardships on this journey, we just might think we could make it without him. I think that this valley I've been walking has brought me into a whole new dependence on God. I have been bathing my mind and my heart in the book of Psalms. And, I have claimed several verses that I go straight to on those extra hard days. God is indeed a refuge for us in times of trouble. We are never alone. We always have a resting place in Jesus.I am learning that You CAN make it through another day with His help. Even when MY strength fails, I know that when we are weak, HE is strong. I am so thankful for the medication, and the Christian therapy I have had. And, I thank God for the support of family and friends. Those things combined with my faith in the Lord are bringing me back to health. Even through the darkest days, I know that nothing catches God by surprise. He knows the end from the beginnning of this whole situation. And while He hasn't just one day pulled my out of it all at once…He IS step by step walking me through. His ways are higher than our ways. And I beleive that in the same way He has sent people to pour into my life during this time, He will use this time in my life to enable me to help someone else in the future. PPD with all of it's many tentacles, is scary, but we CAN overcome through treatment and faith.