This is my fourth mother's day. The fourth year I've been figuring out how to be a mom, who I am as a mom, and what the hell got me here.
As someone who blogged her way through depression with her first child, the decision to stop medication during the pregnancy of her second, and the subsequent love and disgusting mush in a complete turn of events after the birth of her second, I'm honored you are here. I'm honored to be part of a diverse group of women standing up and calling out that IT IS OK.
It is ok if it sucks.
It is ok if you cry.
It is ok if you aren't sure what the hell you're doing.
It is ok if you can't nurse.
It is ok if you hate people that tell you your child is a joy when you are just SO MOTHER EFFING TIRED.
It is ok if you seek help.
It is ok if you decide to take medication.
It is ok if it takes you three months to honestly say you love your baby.
It is ok.
I know because I am ok.
It doesn't last forever, the fear and pain and sadness. You won't always roll the word "mom" around in your head like it's someone else and not you. You won't always sit and stare at your child and think, "Where did you come from?"
Or you might, but you'll also stroke her cheek and thank God she is there.
One day you'll realize you're the mom. THE MOM.
And it is OK. Turns out? You're pretty good at it after all.
Leslie is the author of the popular mommy blog Mrs. Flinger. She is a survivor of postpartum depression.
I remember realizing that I was THE MOM and wow. It threw me for a loop. This entire journey (five years and three kids later) has made me develop a newfound respect for my own mother. I'm also consistently impressed with my ability to deal with situations that I know I would never have handled even a year ago.