This is a very moving post from the blog Grace Unbound by a mother who wasn’t able to confront her experience with postpartum OCD until her child was 6 years old. Wow. I can completely connect with her story, although I was able to get help much sooner thankfully. I’m so glad she knows she’s not "evil" now. A highlight:
I don’t know the answer to ‘why me?’ Why did I get this disorder that changed the course of my early parenting years? Maybe I’ll never know. I know that it has taught me that secrets held too long leave their mark. I know that in some ways it did make me a better mother because fear gave me the desire to seek out parenting solutions that were gentle. I know it reaffirms the depths of love that my husband has for me, that when I finally told him he didn’t turn away, he didn’t reject me. I don’t know all the answers, but I know the peace that comes from being finally set free.
Thank you for your kind words both here and over on my blog. I can always say "I wish I had known sooner" but I can't change the fact that I didn't. All I can do is try to help make sure no other woman has to wait that long for relief.
Katherine: I am so thankful that you specify the names of the postpartum disorders. My PPD really took on OCD traits (especially with my second) and anxiety aspects as well as some of the general depression symptoms and that is why for so long I had no clue as to what was happening to me. I honestly thought I was going crazy.