Blogger Jenny Chiu, who writes at Mommy Nanibooboo, shares her story of postpartum psychosis today on her blog. It’s not often that I see stories of this illness to share with you, so I’m so grateful that she has told her story today because I know how needed it is.
Here’s a bit of it:
The devil was after my child.
We didn’t baptize him. Perhaps the devil already had a hold on him. He wasn’t even like a baby – he was always screaming, always red faced, he looked odd and foreign to me.
I gripped the bedsheet tighter.
Something wasn’t right. Was I losing my mind? It’s sleep deprivation… if I just closed my eyes these thoughts would go away. Perhaps I was dreaming that very second…
Go read the rest of her story here. Support Jenny, who has bravely shared her story so that others might recognize the signs.
Read and bookmark The Symptoms of Postpartum Psychosis in Plain Mama English so that you will be aware and can help others who may need help. Postpartum psychosis is a psychiatric emergency. It is important to reach out and get help for the women who suffer from it.
There is nothing more terrifying. The absolute paralyizing, overwhelming terror is like nothing you can imagine if you've not been there. I'm still working up the courage to tell the whole story on my blog because it's just so bad. I'm sure it will change the way people see me and relate to me. But that's exactly why I WILL write it. The stigma is unfair and shameful.
You are welcome to email me your story whenever you'd like. 😉
– K
"I think back on those first several months after my first baby and it feels like a strange, half watched movie." — Oh boy. I could have written this. I had severe PPD OCD, not Psychosis, by the grace of God, but I was so afraid I was psychotic. My daughter just turned 10, and only until recently had not even watched her baby videos. I still remember every thought, every wave of anxiety, every painful moment. Good for Jenny brining this out into the light!!! 🙂
I know how she feels…right after I had my new baby I started getting what I called "confused thoughts," and had to be put on medication to stop them, because the doctor said it was the beginning of postpartum psychosis. I'm so relieved I was started on the medication so early…5 months later I have finally gone off it. It was so strange and frightening, I would think things and later not understand what on earth I could have been thinking. Like I couldn't find my ipod one morning and I was convinced the baby had stolen it -I mean, it just sounds nuts now. Or I would feel like if the baby was being quiet, she was plotting against me and was going to start screaming if I let my guard down. I'm so glad I got help for it right away, and so glad to not have these thoughts anymore.
Hi Katherine: I've been reading your blog for awhile now. I am a fellow blogger for my own site as well as World Mom's Blog. I experienced severe PPD seven years ago after the birth of my son and still have a hard time discussing it. I wrote about it once on WMB (link is here: http://worldmomsblog.com/2011/07/12/minnesota-usa… yet find it difficult still to talk about. It needs to be talked about as so many women go through PPD and I found it extremely frustrating to find help. I thought I was going to die and if it wasn't for my loving, amazing husband there to find me the right doctors, I don't know where I'd be. Anyway, I still love to read the posts here and I want women to know they are not alone. Many of us struggle and suffer from PPD. On another note, I hope you are attending BlogHer this summer. I just signed up and am looking forward to it!