My first child is one of those awesome children … you know the kind. (Or maybe you don't. That's cool too.)Jack is very sweet. He knows right from wrong. He is pretty honest. He is safety-conscious. He's friendly. Just an all-around great kid.
I thought it was me.
Before I knew better, my husband and I thought it was because we weresimply the world's greatest parents.
LOOK AT THIS! Our first child and he's sheer perfection. Aren't we just amazing?! We are so impressed with ourselves. We should run around dispensing advice to all the other parents, because clearly we've got this down to a science.
I'll give youone example of how this played out. At three months on the dot,Jack started sleeping through the night. The kid was a champion sleeper. Never got up. Took naps. In fact, he napped until he was 5 years old. (Yes, you heard me right.) So when my friends had children who wouldn't sleep, I'd beSURE to tell them what to do. Just put him in bed. Shut the door. Don't let her out. Give them a bunch of exercise before naptime. Read this or that book. Don't put up with it.
Blah, blah, blah, BLAH.
Then I had my fabulous Madden. God was laughing hysterically at me because he knew just what was coming my way … and I deserved it.Madden didn't sleep through the night until she was 11 months old (!). We did the same exact stuff we did with Jack, but Madden couldn't have cared LESS. We tried every baby book method known to man. It didn't work. And naps? Madden hates naps. If there's stuff going on, she wants to be part of it, so forget napping. And then, of course, she's a basketcase when she doesn't get a nap.
Madden has been such a gift to me. She has taught me that each person is different. She has taught me that each person is special in their own way. She has taught me that no one is perfect. Jack isn't perfect — he just makes more sense to me because we have the same type of personality. I've learned that he does, indeed have flaws, as does everyone. Madden isn't perfect either, but she's also equally wonderful in her own way. I adore them both.
NEVER again will I act like I know everything about parenting. I only know what I've tried that works, and what I've tried that hasn't, and that those things really only apply to my own children and not others. I've learned that I don't know everything. I only THOUGHT I knew everything until experience showed me I was wrong.
The moms out there who judge women with postpartum depression only THINK they know everything. They haven't had an experience to show them how wrong they are.
I hope for their sake they never will.
