It is easy in this day and age to get bogged down with what everyone else tells us we should be doing when we bring our baby home for the first time. As soon as we cross the threshold, we read and are told what should matter to us. It can be overwhelming.

Things That Don’t Matter When You Have a Newborn

Things That Don't Matter When You Have a Newborn

How clean your house is.

Yes, people will come by to see the baby. You will feel the need to go into full hostess mode, but resist! These people should not care about the stack of dishes in the sink, the piles of clean and dirty laundry, or the overflowing recyclable bin. Is there a clear path from your bed, to the bathroom, to the nursery? Then you’re doing just fine.

What you’re wearing.

I don’t even know Pinterest boards exist for new mommy fashion. I wore one specific pair of pajama pants for a week straight because everything else irritated my c-section incision. The only reason I changed my shirt was because I was getting spit up on. Wearing real, fashionable clothes after you have a baby will seem like a magical unicorn. Nothing is comfortable, you have no body type—unless squishy is a body type—and no one even cares. If you find yourself having to go out in public, just hold the baby in front of you. No one will notice that you’re wearing fleece pants with penguins on them and your husband’s t-shirt.

What you look like.

Your hormones go absolutely bananas after having a baby. Your skin will either look like Cindy Crawford’s or Buzz from Home Alone; there is no in between. Your hair will fall out. You will have dark circles under your eyes. My sister had a baby last week. I FaceTimed with her the other night and commented that she looked like she was absolutely glowing. “Thanks,” she said. “It’s sweat.”

What your mother or mother-in-law think you should be doing.

These women will find their way into your home. They will hover over you. They will buzz around your house. Most of the time they will be helpful, but every now and then they will tsk-tsk something you are doing. “Don’t sleep with the baby on your chest!” “Warm the bottles on the stove top!” “Sleep when the baby sleeps!” They will comment on how you dress the baby, how you dress yourself, how you are getting along with your partner. They will do your dishes but make sure you know that they are doing the dishes for you. However, they will also probably feed you, so this is all generally allowed. Just take every piece of advice with a grain of salt and remember that the last time these women had babies, it was also still acceptable to smoke while pregnant.


The absolute only thing that matters when you have a baby is that you and the baby are happy and healthy. Every morning (morning being a loose term when you have a newborn), you should wake up with one priority: To keep the both of you happy and healthy.

Eventually, you’ll fall into a routine. You’ll be able to mop the floors. Do a face mask. Get your highlights done and wear jeans.

But who cares about all that right now. You have a baby!