Let's face it: postpartum depression is a bummer of a subject. So are postpartum OCD, postpartum psychosis, intrusive thoughts, mental illness … shall I go on? These things are real and they can't be ignored, but they're not gleeful things to discuss. Necessary but not exactly fun.
I don't get a chance to talk a lot about happiness here. I talk more about finding one's way back to it.Postpartum Progress issort of a stop along the way to happinessland. You just left thetwin citiesof Darkness and Misery and now you're here in Postpartum Progress and on the way to full recovery with a final destination of Happy Momville. You can't see where you're going because Happy Momville is a little bit of a ride from Darkness and Misery and nobody gave you a precise map, but I've made the journey and I know for a fact that Happy Momville can be reached and in factis a pretty cool place to be. You'll see.
Today I happened upon an interviewthat Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Projectjust conducted with "momblogger" Liz Gumbiner who writes Mom-101. It's such a basic discussion, yetan important one in that Rubin asks questions thatwe rarely ask ourselves but should: What makes you happy? What detracts from your happiness? How do you give yourself a happiness boost?
Is it ridiculous to even bring up the subject of happiness on this blog? I'm not sure. Thinking back to when I suffered from postpartum OCD I can't say Ifelt much happiness whatsoever during that time. There were a few "decent moments." I can't think of a word to describe those times, fleeting moments where I glimpsed that maybe I could love my son andmaybe he could love me. (What's a word to describe the wide open space between misery and bliss?) I probably would have wanted toPUNCH someone whotried to talk to me about happiness during that time.
Concerned person: Katherine, how could you give yourself a happiness boost right now?
Katherine: Are you kidding? F*&#k you. (Pow.)
ifsomeone had wanted to talk to me about recovery, though, or being healthy, or getting back to the old me, I think I would have been open to it. Aren't those words — recovery, health, being me, renewal, healing– synonyms for happiness, or at least things that can lead to it?
Even if the word "happiness" is anathema to you right now, you can admit that it is truly where you want to be. You want to get back to your own specific brand of happiness, your own version of what being contented in life means. And even though you have no control over your genetics, your brain chemistry, unsupportive people who may be around you,and some of the other things that might haveled you to this crappy place called Darkness and Misery, you are empowered to take steps to fix the situation.
In fact you've already taken steps to fix the situation, perhaps without knowing it. You've identified the problem that has stopped you in your tracks. That's why you are here, reading this blog. And now that you are finding out what is wrong you are also finding out what you can do to turn things around. You are finding out that what is happening to you is temporary. You are finding out who to talk to and where to get the help you need and who is dedicated to supporting you through this.
You're on the road to the h-word. We just won't call it that.
Yes definitely… if not, one must help her to come out of the postpartum depression and let her go to the land of happiness.. This is the only key to make her live again and make her cheerful and happy to be a fit lady again.
Mom's can recover nicely over the course of time esp. with rest,good food, help with the baby, and emotional support. Everyone who tries to come back to thier same idea of happiness or the same self as before, will probably find out,as I did. The new improved self and Mom is a stronger and more compassionate person. That is truly a Happy Place . I am better to have suffered, all that I have suffered, It helps me be a better and Happier person!
I don't think it's silly at all to talk about happiness on this blog. Sure, I see where you are coming from, and I think I'd have had the same f-bomb/POW response as you, but this post is filled with so much HOPE. That is what women get and NEED when they come to this site. I think it's so important that you reiterate that it's possible. Women don't have to be stuck in that funk. I remember when I finally talked to my doctor (after 3 months of going untreated) I felt like such crap and her simple words of "We'll get you back to feeling like yourself" were so refreshing. That's all I wanted. I wanted to feel like ME again, and it did happen. It was not an easy road, and there have been plenty of potholes along the way, but you are doing a great thing by giving us all hope.
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