I want to highlight an interesting comment on Postpartum Progress this weekend from a reader responding to a news story I posted a while back about a woman in Iowa who killed her baby and then herself:

"How can these stories not cripple and terrify the many women on this site currently experiencing perinatal mood disorders? This is probably the most difficult part of the illness … hearing these stories and believing you are insane and have no control over your actions. Why doesn’t anyone make any posts about dealing with these feelings?? How can you ever start to bond with your baby while getting treatment if you hear these stories and believe they are about you???"

What an excellent comment. I tried to email the reader back but my response was undeliverable, which really bums me out, because I wanted to be able to talk to her in person and offer my support.

I struggle with this as well. I don’t want to upset the readers of Postpartum Progress. I know exactly how it feels to be so vulnerable and confused and afraid of yourself. And it is true that stories of infanticide can make you feel worse because you’re so worried that you’re capable of doing the same. What women need to do in this case is reach out. Talk to your doctor about your concerns and your fears. Listen to what they say. Treatment at the hands of professionals is the answer. If your trained therapist and/or psychiatrist is concerned that you are at risk of harming yourself or someone else, they will hospitalize you and help you stabilize. If they aren’t concerned, they’ll tell you. You’ll still be afraid, of course, because that is part of our illness. The truth is, even if you didn’t read or hear scary stories in the media, you’d still be afraid of what you might do.

I feel that we’re victimized by the fact that people gloss over perinatal mood disorders as though women can’t handle the truth. As if it’s just too touchy a subject. I’d rather err on the side of being completely truthful than pretending bad things don’t happen.

I made the decision to tell the stories, although I try to leave out the scary details. I tell them because they are the truth, though thankfully just a small part of the truth. Such tragedy is among the consequences of our illnesses. People need to know that so they will take us seriously and educate themselves about perinatal mood disorders and take action to make sure women have the services they need. If society can convince itself that postpartum depression is just a temporary setback and no real strategic plan of attack is necessary, than it will take that path of least resistance. We can’t afford that.

I want to hear from the Warrior Moms on this. What do you think? Do you think I should leave out such stories, or that it is an important part of the whole story? Please let me know.