There seems to be a notion floating around the internet that babies fix broken people.
They say that it surely must be impossible to be depressed while holding a bundle of joy.
So.
Wait.
You’re basically saying that postpartum depression doesn’t exist.
Did you even realize that is what you were doing?
You are looking at all of us Warrior Moms, dead in the eyes, and saying that you don’t understand how we can be so sad, in such a wretched state, when we clearly have a wonderful life with this new baby.
Let me break it down, because there is clearly some confusion here.
Babies are not antidepressants. Our OBGYN didn’t write us a prescription to get pregnant, thinking it will fix something. Babies don’t fix things.
If you are suffering from PPD, I guarantee holding your baby makes you feel numb, scared, empty.
Society LOVES discounting postpartum depression—calling it cute things like “baby blues” and saying that it’s just our hormones surging and that we will be in tip-top shape in no time. To focus on the miracle that has happened to us.
I felt depressed holding my daughter when she was three hours old, five months old, four years old.
My daughter didn’t fix me, because it’s not her job. You know what did help me?
Medication.
Encouragement from other mothers going through the same thing.
You know why?
Because depression—any form of depression at any point in your life—is a disease. It is a sickness. It is not something that aromatherapy, prayer, or holding a five month old baby can cure.
Do you know what we feel when we hold our babies instead of unadulterated joy? Desperation. We hold them, in all of their beautiful glory, and desperately search for some sort of bond.
It was not the annunciation where an angel spoke to me about this wonderful tiny human I have brought in to the world. My heart didn’t swell nine times its actual size. There was silence, loneliness, guilt.
Telling a woman that holding their baby will cure their depression is the same as asking an alcoholic to hold a bottle of whiskey and expecting them to no longer feel addicted. THIS ISN’T HOW THIS WORKS.
So, if you have never dealt with postpartum depression—whether you’re a man, childless, or just incredibly lucky—I suggest you Google what you are talking about before taking your absurd opinion public.
