Interesting (but unscientific) poll going on over at the Cafe Mom website. They’re asking the question, in an area called “New Mom Secrets”: If you suffered from postpartum depression, would you keep it to yourself? Thus far, here are the results:
12% Yes, I’d be scared they’d take my baby away.
68% No, I’d tell someone and get help. Both my baby and I would be better off that way.
20% I’m not sure what I’d do in that situation.
I’m pleased to see that the majority have gotten enougheducation to know that it is important to reach out for help.
It's reassuring to see the majority polled would speak up and seek treatment! It's always good to see society moving in a positive direction and mothers are doing what's right for them and their babies!
While I do find the results encouraging, I worry that the question is poorly worded and might actually give the impression that keeping PPD to one's self is ok and I really don't think it is. It's one thing to not tell extended family and friends but it's another thing to refuse to acknowledge it all together. I have to wonder about all the women who DIDN'T vote. I hope CafeMom considers a follow-up article on the topic.
I remember when I had my son they gave me some powerful pain meds and I had mentioned to a friend that I was afraid to hold him if I was by myself since I might drop him (the meds always made me pass out). I was told NOT to tell the staff that as they wouldn't let me near him. I remember thinking that is stupid as it could put my son's life in danger…I just stopped taking the meds after the first day (I had a csection).
When I did get PPD then, I DID tell people…but the Drs kept passing me on to another dr and not helping and my family (except for DH, gotta love him!) didn't take me seriously. I remember it making my depression worse because no one would help me or try to understand (his family would just laugh at me in a patronizing way).
So, there is my story. I don't do CafeMom anymore…I didn't like they way they ran things there.
When I was battling my postpartum demons, I told no one. I was too terrified that someone would take away my baby. It wasn't a lack of education. It was a visceral fear that governed almost that entire first year.
It didn't help that when I would tentatively voice a concern that I was overwhelmed, the response was always, "Let me take the baby for a while so you can rest." Though well-intended, that response reinforced my belief that if I confessed the thoughts and feelings I was having, which were MUCH more severe than simply being overwhelmed, that someone would want to take my baby for a very long time.
So I'm not sure the answer is just to educate mothers on how PPD is treated, but to also educate family members and providers on the very real fears women with PPD face. Family and providers should know how to offer support without implying that the best way for a mother to recover is by "taking a break" from her baby, since this kind of language is triggering for women with separation anxiety.
Just my thoughts.