For those of you struggling with postpartum depression or anxiety right now, I can only imagine the pressure you are feeling about the holidays. You may wish you could just avoid them altogether, yet the train keeps coming down the tracks and there’s no avoiding it.
I suffered from postpartum depression all through the holidays in 2001 — Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas — since my son was born in September. To tell you the truth, I don’t remember much of it. I have a picture of him squirming in his Halloween costume. I have no record of Thanksgiving. All I can remember of Christmas is having to take my son out of his special outfit that morning because he had a diaper blowout within 5 minutes of putting it on. No memories of what we gave him for gifts. I don’t think we even have pics of that day.
It’s hard to have postpartum depression and not be able to experience the same joy everyone around you is experiencing. No doubt about it. So I wanted to share some resources that might help:
Therese Borchard of Beyond Blue, in partnership with ShareWIK, has put together a 4-minute video about getting through this season while suffering from mental illness. I think it is wonderful, and gives you permission to be who you are, where you are, during this time, as well as tips on how to get through it. Her husband appears in it as well. Watch it, with your spouse or partner if you can.
Update: Wendy McDowell also sent in this link with tips on coping during the holidays.
wonderful sharing! i also had a september baby. i felt so ashamed that i had no energy or desire to dress my son up for his first halloween or to open presents by the tree. going to a family party was excruciating. i wanted to bolt out the door. i fought so hard not to cry when others were laughing. thank goodness this holiday season is different.
mamas with ppd, watch this video!
Reading this post and Nicole's comments brought back so many memories. When I think about holiday season 2005 it makes me cringe. My son was born in November and thanksgiving through christmas was so difficult.
My daughter was actually born on Christmas Day 2007, but my OCD had started in my 3rd Trimester with her.
Its very hard to be in so much pain when everyone else seems to be having so much fun…..
So bummed that I am in that camp this year… Faith is 11.5 months and PPD reared it's ugly head at 10 months – can you believe it?!?! I thought I was home free! It's not as bad as it was with Noah, but it has been very disruptive to our family. At least this time I knew where to go and what to do at first signs… But, this Christmas I'm just not that IN to it… for my kids, yes, but buying other gifts for friends and family? I draw a blank and don't want to do it. Ugh. Oh well, I know that I am not alone, I am not to blame, and with help, I will be well.
I can relate. I had my baby one week before Halloween, and although I went through the motions of putting him in the cute outfit, the day is a blur of fatigue for me. I got through Thanksgiving just because relatives wanted to spend most of the day with him and I got a mental break. I spent a good chunk of Christmas Eve being shaky and teary eyed because he started crying and I couldn't make him stop. Christmas Day was actually the first holiday that felt somewhat 'normal'.
I wonder if the reason we feel so guilty about this is that there is a societal expectation that holidays should only be experienced one way (with absolute glee), and that those days are so much more important than others. I hate to see women feeling even worse than they already do because their perinatal mood disorder interferes with their ability to enjoy the moment, or any moment for that matter.
Anxiety disorders are a unique group of illnesses that fill people’s lives with persistent, excessive, and unreasonable anxiety, worry, and fear. They include generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), panic disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder (SAD), and specific phobias. Although anxiety disorders are serious medical conditions, they are treatable.
An anxiety disorder and a co-occurring chronic pain disease can make a person’s health more difficult to treat. But a variety of treatments and lifestyle changes can offer relief. Possible health complications are noted below:
• Increased disability or reduced functioning
• Poorer quality of life
• Poorer response to treatment
• Poorer treatment adherence
• Increased perception of disease severity
Source: chronic-anxiety.com