I have a lot of symptoms when I’m depressed: mood swings, fatigue, memory problems, unreasonable anger, sensitivity to criticism, guilt, self-doubt, hopelessness, apathy. None of it’s particularly good, but some are worse than others. One of my worst symptoms has always been insomnia. It’s kind of a funny thing, because I’m exhausted all the time, but when I finally make it to bed after a long day of cleaning, caring for my family, and checking as many items as possible off my to-do list, more often than not I end up staring at the wall for hours wondering if my life will ever be normal again.
After months of four or five hours of sleep every night (this was during my second pregnancy), I went to the doctor and begged for help. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was forgetting everything, losing mental acuity, and was nearly incapable of interaction with my almost two year-old son. She told me to take a mild painkiller/sedative (non-narcotic), which would be safe for both me and my baby, and would help me sleep. It was like manna from the gods, and I slept like a log every night for the rest of my pregnancy.
Then my son was born, and I stopped taking the sleep aid. I figured my sleeping schedule would be unpredictable for a while, so I should just try to get back into the habit of falling asleep on my own. Unfortunately, the insomnia came back quickly and vengefully, as if it had been waiting until I was unguarded to steal back the sleep I’d been enjoying over the past few months.
I’ve been dealing with the insomnia for almost 18 months now. On a good night, I am able to fall asleep around midnight. On a bad night, I’m up till three or four in the morning. Neither of these situations is actually all that great. My day starts around 7:30, when my older son wakes up; sometimes earlier.
According to the National Sleep Foundation, short sleep duration (less nightly sleep than the recommended 7-9 hours for healthy adults) comes with many risks, including but not limited to:
- Increased risk of motor vehicle accidents
- Increase in body mass index, a greater likelihood of obesity due to an increased appetite caused by sleep deprivation
- Increased risk of diabetes and heart problems
- Increased risk for psychiatric conditions including depression and substance abuse
- Decreased ability to pay attention, react to signals or remember new information
In addition, chronic insomnia is linked to increased risk of illness and morbidity. Sleep and depression have a complicated relationship, as it’s not definitively known whether sleeplessness causes depression or depression causes sleeplessness. Either way, insomnia is a very common symptom for people with depression. And for a woman with postpartum depression, the extra hours of lonely introspection that often accompany wakefulness in the wee hours are the last thing a mom needs.
This post isn’t necessarily a guide to how to get more sleep; there are specialists, such as those who work with the National Sleep Foundation, who are far more qualified than I to deliver that information. Instead, I wanted to give you the one piece of wisdom I’ve learned over the past year-and-a-half. Granted, it’s kind of a no-brainer, but I think it warrants repetition, since you might have heard it already.
Don’t give in.
Insomnia can be a dangerous symptom of postpartum depression, perhaps one of the most dangerous, but I made the mistake of viewing it as a sort of blessing in disguise when my PPD was at its worst. Let me explain: During the day, I am Mom. I’m Wife. I’m Maid. I’m Friend. I’m All of the Above. I have hardly a second to just be Me, and I’d often end the day thinking to myself, “What a waste of time.” This was the postpartum depression talking, of course, but it got to me. I started to think that the hours of the day weren’t nearly enough time to accomplish what I wanted to do with my life, apart from my obligations to others.
I started to relish those wakeful hours of the late night and early morning, began to see them as “me time,” when I could work on my novel, fold laundry while watching back episodes of TV shows my husband doesn’t care to watch, blog, do my toenails. But then morning would come, and I would be miserable. Not necessarily extremely tired, because more often than not I would be wired to the point of discomfort, but cranky. Irritable. Just plain mean. Insomnia is not a color I wear well.
I’m trying desperately to change my mindset about sleeping. It’s not a check mark on my to-do list; it needs to be a priority in my life. All the not sleeping I’m doing is seriously compromising my health and is most likely interfering with my recovery from postpartum depression, not to mention probably preventing me from losing all the baby weight I’ve not been able to shed.
There’s no easy fix for insomnia, I know this, and like I said, I’m not suggesting I have any answers about that. But I do want to encourage all of you who may be dealing with insomnia, as I am now, to make sleep a more important part of your daily routine. Don’t allow it to become an afterthought, as I have. Do whatever it takes to make it to bed at a reasonable hour, and try to be tired when you get there. You’re probably rolling your eyes and thinking, Easier said than done, but I know it’s possible. It’s worth a try, at least.
~Alexis Lesa
So what do you think? Have you had problems with postpartum depression and insomnia, how have they affected you, and what, if anything, worked?
My lack of sleep has resulted in my boss, who is taking off from work for the next five work days, telling me, "Maybe you should take some time off too!" And I am. Friday and Monday. Oh glorious time off!
Yes, I had insomnia and was on Ambien for awhile and my psychiatrist recommended that I go get my hormones checked.. Turns out, I had low progesterone levels.. Ever since then, I take natural progesterone pills and I sleep like a baby. I also have hypothyroidism and take Armour Thyroid which has been a major boost in my life….I agree with you Alexa… great article
Janna more women need to check their hormone levels! It plays an important role especially in insomnia after pregnancy.
Two months after my son was born, and after I had begun to feel really anxious and obsessive, I had a week when I stopped being able to sleep. One night I couldn't sleep at all. The next night I got 6 hours of sleep, the next two nights — about 4 hours, and the next night about a half an hour. I was beside myself: I was trying to breastfeed my son, and I had already begun to take Zoloft for my anxiety. But I could NOT sleep. My milk production went down and my family, in a couple of days, used up all my frozen milk in the freezer! One more thing to be stressed about, right? I sat around in a daze all day, on auto-pilot, wishing I could be a different mom to my son versus the brooding, distracted zombie I had become.
The therapist that I began to see for my PPD/PPOCD called my ob/gyn and talked to him about the fact that sleep deprivation was a huge contributor to PPD, and that he should really prescribe me something for sleep. He had wanted to wait and see how the Zoloft worked, although I had asked him to give me something for sleep. Thankfully, he gave me Ativan to use PRN for sleep.
For about a month, I took 1 mg of Ativan/night, sometimes less. I slept in another room and tried to prioritize sleep as much as possible, per my therapist's instructions. MY husband did baby duty overnight. I stuck with the breastfeeding, which despite my hard times, was the one thing that made me feel like I was holding it together — by a thread, mind you.
Slowly but surely, my sleep got better. After a month, I would take the Ativan only when I needed to — usually if I was feeling really anxious or obsessive. I returned to our family bed, and relished cuddling with my husband and baby, which in turn allowed me to sleep better.
My story is proof that you can get through this! Healing takes time… luckily, we have a lifetime to bond with our child, and get this whole motherhood thing down.
insomnia was my number one struggle through ppd/a. The only thing was with me, it gave me incredible anxiety. I would think about sleep nonstop, and I would obsess about it. It got so bad that i went several nights on only 2 hours of sleep at the most. I went to urgent care to get a benzodiazepine I was so desperate. Lack of sleep really messes with you! This is my number one fear with TTC and having another child. I don't know how I'll ever get past it fully.
I started having insomnia a month after my son was born. At first I thought this was normal but i went 2 days with out any sleep and ended up at ER twice I thought I was going crazy. they gave me some pills to knock me out it only help me for 4-5 hrs. My gynecologist gave me antihistamine to take every night to go to sleep so far it has work. But I want to get my hormones checked and make sure everything is fine. I’m glad if found this page I don’t feel so alone it seem my case is one of a kind. I haven’t found many people with this issue I’m praying this get better for all of us god bless you all
A couple of long bouts of insomnia (one during PPD) had me thinking about sleep all wrong. I was looking at it like a quest or something almost unattainable. Once I could say to myself, "if I sleep, fine…if I don't, fine" and believe it, I did much better. Also, I never look at the clock when I can't fall asleep. It doesn't matter what time it is -it won't change anything as far as my sleep goes – except maybe to make me more anxious.
I hear you sister! Sleep deprivation is a form of torture for a reason! The insomnia nearly killed me and coupled with severe anxiety and ocd resulted in hospitalization for 6 weeks in a mother and baby unit following the birth of my first daughter 5 and a half years ago. I tried everything – hot baths/showers before bed, camomile tea, deep breathing, meditation tapes, cognitive behavioural therapy, exercise, relaxation tapes, medication – you name it, I tried it. What helped? Medication, medication, medication – zyprexa, ambien and eventually a change in antidepressant. Also the passage of time…I was obsessed with sleep for almost 3 years. 8 months ago we had another baby and this time I stayed on medication, went straight to the mother and baby unit after my daughter was born so that they could feed her a bottle overnight (I decided to breastfeed during the day and bottle feed at night)and monitor my depression and my doctor organised for an inhome carer (free of charge!!!) to come to my house every night from 9 pm to 7 am so that I can sleep while she looks after the baby – it has been an absolute godsend and made for a much easier transition second time around.
What antidepressant did you change to?
I loved this post so much! I had one pretty bad bout of insomnia, and it lasted quite a while. It was within the past year or so, and I've struggled with anxiety/depression ever since my nearly 2 1/2 year old daughter was born. I know sleep deprivation played a huge role in my PPD/anxiety, so losing out on that sleep when I was having insomnia this past year just created anxiety on top of anxiety and brought back memories of what the sleep-deprived me was like (not pretty). I found that I fell asleep just fine, but I'd wake up after a couple hours and not be able to get back to sleep. It had a very negative effect on my ability to function and I was very irritable and just exhausted all the time.
After talking to a friend (who is also a licensed counselor), I realized there were some pretty big issues I needed to deal with and I was just letting them stew beneath the surface. I went to therapy to deal with them, and also to process the PPD/anxiety I experienced and never got therapy for.
So, therapy was one thing that worked for me. I really think that the junk I hadn't dealt with was wreaking havoc in my subconscious and was playing a role in the middle of the night waking. Once I talked things through and had some closure and resolution, I was sleeping fine again.
Another thing that has worked for me in trying to fall asleep easily is reading. I read until I start nodding off and my eyelids are super heavy, and when I do that, I have no issues falling asleep quickly. I find that on nights when I do not read at all, I struggle to fall asleep.
One thing I worry about with my current pregnancy/postpartum experience is how to manage the sleep effectively once the baby is born. I know the lack of sleep can cause such a downward spiral, but I just can't wrap my mind around a way to get that managed and under control at the beginning.
Thanks again for your honest and thought-provoking posts. I'm glad Katherine has you guest posting here – you are a great asset to her blog!
I didn't read this before leaving my comment, but I'm so glad I came back to read it! Breastfeeding was a huge issue with my daughter and because she wouldn't latch, I was up pumping every 3 hours as I was instructed to do. I never really got more than a 2 1/2 hours stretch of sleep at a time. I'm expecting #2 in April, and although I'm not as concerned about PPD/anxiety this time as I feel we have a good plan in place if needed, one thing that really, really worries me is the issue of sleep. I want to try breastfeeding this new baby, but I have to admit part of me wants to just use formula so that I can get some somewhat decent sleep and at least split night time duties with my husband. I really feel like decent sleep could be a huge protective factor in trying to combat the depression/anxiety/coping issues. Would you mind sharing at all how it worked with the night time bottle feeding and daytime breastfeeding? Were you pumping prior to bedtime for the night feedings? Did it effect your milk supply at all? I've had 3 different lactation consultants say that at the beginning it is crucial to feed every 2 to 3 hours to establish a good supply (and hearing that makes me want to cry knowing what it will do to my sleep…). I know it's different for every woman, but since it worked well for you, I'm just really interested in learning more so I can consider it as an option for us. Thank you!
Wow. I have not suffered from PPD, but I have suffered from insomnia for over 20 years. Now I have Restless Leg Syndrome, and as a result, have been taking meds with have at the added bonus of being a sedative. I sleep well now. The funny thing is, until I started taking the sedative and sleeping for many consecutive hours, I had no idea this was even possible. I do understand how difficult it is to function with no sleep. I do advise sleep meds. I really do. Good luck to you.
Hi Sera!
Although I had concerns about supply and the risk of mastitis and was more willing to move to formula if necessary (with my first I wanted to breastfeed at all costs ), I really wanted to breastfeed as it was the one thing I did well with my first and I felt it helped with bonding when in the throes of depression. My doctor wrote a letter to the hospital where I gave birth saying that the midwives were to encourage comp feeding so that I could sleep. I therefore started the middle of the night bottle feeding immediately after birth. I did the last breast feed around 10/11 and the first feed around 5/6. My daughter slept in the nursery away from me for the first 4 weeks. The morning start gradually stretched out with time and I did have to express some mornings (electric breast pump)as I was full from going so long without feeding. I was warned that I may have to choose between breastfeeding and sleep as my supply may drop but I haven't had to. My baby fed every 2 or so hours during the day for the first 5 months and my body adjusted to the overnight gap. I think my breasts adjusted better the second time around. It all clicked much sooner and I didn't have the engorgement I had with my first. Of course everyone is different. My baby is now 8 months old and I have started expressing more as she takes the bottle (having had it since day one) and I am starting to give her some formula during the day as I am moving towards weaning her.
Good for you!
I do the same thing! I refuse to look at the clock when I wake up in the middle of the night. It helps prevent me from obsessing over how much time I have left to get some rest.
Isn't she? Thanks for saying that Sera. I'm really glad to have Alexis as part of Postpartum Progress.
Also … congrats on your pregnancy!
I can totally relate when it comes to this issue. I had insomnia and PPD with both of my girls. I honestly think that not sleeping enough before my first daughter was born spiraled me out of control. I had PUPPS syndrome with my first daughter, PUPPS syndrome is an itchy rash that you get usually on your torso but mine was severe it was all over my body come my 9 month and it was VERY uncomfortable. I had this rash all over my body, everywhere except my face. There was no comfort and I could not sleep….so 3 weeks without sleep before they induced me and then an emergency c-section after 2 days of induction. I was completely exhausted. Once I get home with my new baby girl I did not sleep, it ruled my thoughts and all I thought about was sleep but was unable to do so. It became an obsession in my mind, it ruled all my thoughts, when could I sleep and how much sleep could I get and what if I did not hear my daughter cry….it was awful!
I did seek help and once I started to take an antidepressant, I also used a sleep med in the beginning. I then was able to relax enough and my thoughts started to become my own again I was able to sleep.
Sleep is still an issue for me today and my daughters are now 2 and 7. What I do today is use a white noise machine and my room at night is dark…there are no lights from anything. I need it this way to relax and be able to sleep soundly.
It is so difficult and I know it may seem impossible right now if this is an issue for you but it will get better and you just need to try and see what works for you….little steps but eventually you will get to the top of those steps and you can look back and see how far you have come. Good Luck and sleep well.
Before PPD/A, I was able to put my head on a pillow and I was out for the night…an easy 7-8 hours of sleep at the least…then "IT" happened…Insomnia was the worst symptom during my bout with PPD/A. I was sleeping 2/3 hours a night, and the other 21 hours..I was pacing around my house like a mad woman. It was not until my doctor prescribed me a sleep med, and my mom took over night duties for a few weeks, I found myself sleeping again…and it felt as though slowly but surely, I was getting back to normal… I was able to cope with what was going on with me, and take all the necessary steps to get myself treatment. I still continue battling insomnia, but it doesn't lead me into crazy panic attacks anymore…I've learned how to read a book, count my breaths, and wait for my sleep aid to kick in!!! SLEEP IS ESSENTIAL!…
I had horrible problems with sleep when I had postpartum OCD. I could go to sleep at night, but when I had to get up in the middle of the night to feed my son I could not go back to sleep to save my life. It was nightmarish to be that exhausted and lay there feeling desperate. Eventually, a sleep management plan in combination with medication was what worked for me.
That is awesome! Sounds like you have a pretty great boss.
Wow, that is so amazing…it must have been such a wonderful thing to have help when you were at your most vulnerable. It's a good thing your doctor understood how invaluable sleep is to recovery from delivery and prevention of PPD. That warms my heart like you have no idea, just his/her awareness of the dangers of sleep deprivation, especially to a mother with a history of PPMDs.
Just awesome.
Thank you, Sera! I have loved being a part of Katherine's mission and I only can feel grateful that I am helping anyone as much as I have been helped in the past by Katherine.
I hadn't even considered the fact that underlying emotional issues might be a part of my inability to sleep, so thanks for mentioning that. It's definitely something to look in to.
Amino acids (specifically 5-HTP) helps my sleep tremendously. The Mood Cure by Julia Ross talks about different types of amino acids. I also work with my naturopath, my counselor, and my zoloft! But the 5-HTP really makes a difference for me.
Hi Sera!
I should just clarify that the middle of the night bottle feed has, from day one, been a bottle of formula.
Marianne
I wanted to say that I was one of the lucky ones in this department. But it's not lucky. I can not sleep enough. Even after we switched to formula and my husband took over the nights and the early wake ups with my toddler I can't sleep enough. I can (and sometimes do) go to bed after i put the kids down. That's before 8pm I could be snoozing away. I could sleep straight through to 8 or 9 and then need a nap by noon. Nap while the kids are napping 12-2 and then nap on the couch while cartoons entertain the kids 4-5, then in bed by 8 or 9 that night.
I feel like I have to stay up some nights just for that 'me' time but run out of toothpicks to prop my eyelids open. It's not like I'm doing exhausting work during the day. I'm not working in the Nevada dessert. I'm just existing. And it's exhausting.
I also suffered severe insomnia when this illness began for me in my third trimester with my first (and only) child. I was a champ at sleeping prior to this and never in a million years thought that I would have insomnia. Never. I'm convinced that the insomnia is what sent me on a terrifying downward spiral into a very dark and lonely place. I was just having anxiety before the insomnia hit, and it literally happened over night. Within a week of not sleeping, I was a complete mess. I was in a state of panic 24/7, was having intrusive thoughts, not eating, crying continuously, etc. I couldn't make a decision to save my life. I was missing work left and right. I couldn't be alone. I couldn't think. I ended up practically moving in with my mom and dad at 34 yrs. old because my husband had no idea how to help me and I was falling apart at the seams. I was able to get a few hours of sleep there for some reason, but that was it. This went on for the remainder of my pregnancy. 12 weeks of pure hell! I don't know how I made it. I am quite sure looking back that I was near psychosis. I'll spare the ghory details about the dark thoughts that consumed my mind from that time. I went from a cute pregnant lady to a complete and total mess in a very short period of time. Not sleeping wreaks total havoc on anyone's mental state. My mom still says she does not understand how I made it and delivered a perfectly healthy daughter. I was losing 4 lbs. a week towards the end. Nonstop prayer and the support from my family and friends is what carried me. The OB/GYN was no help. They wanted to hospitalize me in the mental ward and offered no explanation as to what was happening. When I thought I was being wheeled to the labor and delivery ward (after an ER visit ordered by the OB/Gyn) to be monitored, I was actually taken to the mental ward. I was completely traumatized and couldn't talk about it for a long time. One of the doctors prescribed zoloft at a super high starting dose of 100mg, which sent me into a 2 day panic attack. Another doctor from the practice prescribed ativan, while another in the practice told me what terrible things could happen to my baby because of it. And she was not nice about it. Zero compassion. The whole thing still makes me angry beyond words. I still need to write some letters to some folks.
At any rate, I'll jump ahead to now (18 months postpartum) and say that I finally got the proper help (because of my own research)after my daughter was born, got on medication, fired a bully of a psychiatrist, saw a therapist, and am now sleeping 7-9 hrs. a night. And life is a whole lot better because of it! I am still on a lower dose of my antidepressant. Mostly because I am so traumatized by the insomnia and what it did to me, and this medicine is what got me sleeping again. I still struggle some nights (mostly around my cycle), but I am not thrown into a complete panic because of it. That took a long time. I too was obsessed with sleep, counting hours, etc. I'll second not looking at the clock. It does help. I still don't understand why insomnia is such a huge component with PPD. But I sure found out how very common it is since my own struggle began. It's so cruel!
What antidepressant worked for you?
kristin, how are you feeling now? can you provide more follow up and the secret to you finally sleeping. this is exactly what i’m feeling now – i’ve spiraled down a black hole and am fighting to crawl out for my family. i need help and the therapists/psychiatrists are just making it worse with a cocktail of meds that don’t work and leave me feeling groggy.
I’m not Kristin but I can tell you what worked for me. Finding the right antidepressant worked for me. I had post-partum anxiety and couldn’t sleep. I was just too wired. After trial and error, my psychiatrist prescribed generic Lexapro and slowly it raised my serotonin levels so I don’t have to take so much sleeping medication. When the insomnia was at it’s worst, I cycled through Unisom, Ambien, Ativan and then finally Klonopin worked. I actually didn’t have to take it for very long. I think he only prescribed 20 pills total. Plus you can break it down into fourths to just take the edge off the anxiety. Now, after a year and a half, when I can’t sleep, I take half a pill of Unisom and that helps me sleep for a whole night. I hope this helps. I remember that feeling of desperation.
What was the medicine you ended up on?
That could be a sign of something going on with your thyroid or other hormone imbalances. Have you talked to a doctor and had extensive blood work done? If you have and they're still telling you everything's checking out normally, you might want to consider seeing a specialist such as an endocrinologist. Your situation sounds like it could use some attention. I really hope things get better very soon!
Yikes. That is truly awful, Kristin. I can't even begin to express my level of disgust for doctors who don't understand how to properly treat women with PPMDs–even on just a human-to-human basis, no medicine involved. It's not rocket science; just be nice to the suffering pregnant woman. Sheesh.
I'm so glad you made it through that terrible time and that you seem like you're adjusting well. I can understand how such an experience would leave you traumatized, there is definitely a lot of residual emotion that comes with that type of situation.
Thank you for sharing.
I have a lifelong struggle with insomnia (multiweek bouts a few times a year is my pattern) and when PPD hit, my insomnia became extreme (also impacted by trying to pump every 2 hours bc of difficutly breastfeeding and I was so determined that she would get breastmilk even at the expense of my own health and well-being). My daughter rarely slept longer than 45 minutes at a stretch until she was almost 4 months old and it would take me just about 45 minutes to fall asleep if I was lucky. Just like someone said above, I was falling apart at the seems. My mood was depressed and desperate. All that "nap when the baby naps" and "you'll sleep if you're tired enough" advice was even more crazy-making. I started to get frantic about sleep and very scared about my ability to function and care for my daughter. That fear was what finally got me to a doctor but I don't recall that we ever talked about insomnia and it is so intertwined with depression. The antidepressant helped a bit with sleep, as did doing some CBT and accupuncture helped (and is currently helping). One of my PPS relapse triggers is having more than 2 nights of insomnia in a row. I start to get anxious about going to bed and feel doomed and it is hard to put the brakes on it. I recently read Insomniac by Gayle Greene and it was the first time I felt like someone understood my insomnia experience. I can't recall if she has anything specific on PPD but she has some very interesting data about the huge lack of research into the relation of hormones and insomnia (or into any female-specific sleep issues).
I didn't sleep at all for the first six days of my son's life. This was after 23 hours of hard labor, too. I was struck instantly with PPA. I recall feeling like there was a fire in my brain that wouldn't go out. Like a previous commenter, I was near delirious by the time I got help. I credit an amazing family support structure and fast medical help (yay, Ativan) with getting me some sleep at last. Because of that episode, I dealt with severe anxiety about sleep for a few weeks. I couldn't be with my son at night because I'd be panicking about when he would wake up to eat. My husband, the champ that he is, stayed with our little guy in his nursery until I slowly was able to bring him into our bedroom.
I'm so glad you wrote this post and so many women have shared their experiences in the comments. I felt so alone during this time, convinced I was the only messed up mother in the world.
I can totally relate to this story and all of the comments. I have suffered PPD twice and am about to give birth to my 4th (yes, I can't believe I am doing this again either). My BIGGEST symptom was sleep or lack thereof and constantly obsessing over it. Most sleep meds don't work for me with exception to benzos. However, I was so afraid of taking them for fear of addiction. The breaking point the last go round was when I realized it wasn't making sense to be so fearful of addiction when I just kept wanting to take my car off the road. So, broke down and took Klonopin (and a lot of it) for about 3 months. Then weaned off slowly. What a life saver! Without finally getting the sleep I needed, I probably would not be here today. I also went to a sleep specialist to confirm my psychiatrist's treatment. She said that for depressed patients, CBT methods for sleep are a no go. And she convinced me that the insomnia is often one of the first symptoms of depression and the last to go and it is SO important to get treatment for it. This time around, I will not hesitate to take the medication if that's what I need to get better!
Insomnia is such a vicious cycle– both a trigger for postpartum mental illness and a symptom thereof. I bipolar disorder with "mixed episodes," meaning that when I am manic I have racing and agitated *negative* thoughts rather than the typical grandiosity and euphoria. Just a couple nights with little or no sleep will set this whole cart in motion. It happened very quickly with my first child; I was home with her for only one day before heading to the ER for psych hospitalization.
The interesting thing for me is that with my second child, I am getting less sleep than I did with my first. My husband is working a lot of overtime, and my son is a fussier baby. I am on full "baby duty" five nights a week. I have been tired– exhausted sometimes– but still able to carry on and even be cheerful about it. I am able to go back to sleep after feeding my son, even if it's 4 times a night. I think the key this time around was a) four years of hard work in therapy since my daughter's birth and b) having a medication plan in place the minute I conceived. Being able to sleep when the baby sleeps seemed like a pipe dream the first time around, with all my horrific obsession and racing thoughts. This time around, I sometimes fall asleep with the bottle still in his mouth!
I have been dealing with Post-partum insomnia for 18 months, since my son was 6 months old. I have tried Alternative & Western treatment with no improvement. After a year, I was put on Xanax which help me sleep about 4 -5 hours a night which has helped. I am getting treatment for a hormonal imbalance, low progesterone & a probiotic. I am 25 lbs underweight. I have differing opinions on having my thyroid treated. I also do chinese herbs, acupuncture, & chiropratic treatment. With all of this my body still has not balanced. Any thoughts or suggestions appreciated. I am struggling with constant tiredness.
Thanks!
Rebecca – It sounds like you are working hard to address the issue. Finding a doctor who truly understands PPD and insomnia should be able to help you get to the bottom of this. Psychiatrists generally have a good understanding of what medications might be able to help treatment insomnia long-term.
I had insomnia after both pregnancies. With my first it lasted for about 8 weeks. With my second it lasted about 6 months. I would be able to sleep every other night. Some nights I would be able to sleep for 3 hours or some nights 8. Some nights not at all. It was very sporadic. I was beside myself I thought something was wrong with me. Everyone couldn’t understand they were like just sleep! Some would say… You have something on your mind. I started to think I was losing it and made an appointment to see a psychiatrist. Thankfully I had a strong group of female friends who supported me. I do not know if any of you believe in prayer but I prayed and cried and prayed and cried and they prayed and cried with me. I made an appointment with a medical doctor who was also a naturopath. She told me that what I was going through was normal and I was NOT crazy. It has to do with a particular hormone level. It is the hormone that helps you sleep when you are pregnant. It increases dramatically when you are pregnant (for some women during pregnancy it does not increase which is why some women may have trouble sleeping during pregnancy). After you give birth it decreases dramatically and sometimes the body can not handle it. Enter in insomnia. She sent me to the lab to check that particular hormone level and gave me a natural vitamin that had that hormone in it that I could take and still breastfeed. When we got the results back that particular hormone level was way below the normal range. I could have gotten the hormone therapy but she said if I can wait the hormone level usually comes back up on its own but to keep taking that vitamin. She was right. I was able to sleep for 3 weeks straight without a sleepless night…then 2 months then 3 and then no sleepless nights. When I made my appointment with her initially, I was not going to tell her about my sleepless nights for fear she would tell me that I was crazy and confirm what I was beginning to believe about myself. Something in me, which I believe was God told me to tell her and I am so glad I did! If you can hold on it does get better. It really does.
Renee Carter what was the name of that vitamin? I am on some meds because it got to out of control but i would like to take herbal supplements to help my body get back to what it needs to be. my doctor says not too so i dont know.
This is going to sound weird but it was evening primrose oil capsules (1000 mg). I took one a day.
How are you doing?
The evening primrose oil helped my insomnia after I stopped breastfeeding immensely, but I’ve noticed it has made my cycle shorter (25-26 days from 28). Have you noticed this?
Hmmmmm I haven’t noticed that. I am glad it helped 🙂
Is evening primrose oil okay to take while also taking an SSRI (Lexapro)? I have been struggling with postpartum anxiety and insomnia for 7 months! What a nightmare. I have needed Klonopin or Ativan nearly every night. I tried weaning off the Ativan very slowly and the insomnia returned with a vengeance. I’m going to see a postpartum depression specialist in September. I am desperate for relief from this continual suffering. My heart goes out to everyone else suffering as well. I can’t wait to be on the other side of this and say “I made it through this!!!”….
Hi Kim,
You will be the person saying you made it through! And it would be best to ask your prescribing doctor about the evening primrose. I have not heard anything about that and it’s always best to go to your doc with medication questions. All the best to you…
Hi Kim,
I know exactly how you are feeling. You will make it through it, it is just going through it now is so hard. We have all been through this and I an praying for you.
My doctor was a naturopath, in addition to being a medical doctor. So she gave me the evening primrose oil first and I was not on any medication. I would consult with you doctor first to make sure. Or if you have a naturopath in your area speak with them.
Let me know if you anything else,
Renée
Hello Ma’am Renee your story been my inspiration since I read it here.been suffering from this insomnia 3 weeks now.had my cs on March. Been ok for first 2 months then now I have exactly the same story like yours..my hubby is working abroad so I really don’t know who to turn to please pray for me too. I am in third world country so it’s really hard to find a good doctors and naturopath but I hope I’ll survived it cause to be honest sometimes I’m thinking I’m gonna die because of this.thanks a lot
I just had my 3rd baby and your story is mine, exactly. I am so frustrated- I got insomnia after my 2nd and went to every kind of doctor out there trying to fix it, after 3 years of up and down sleep- I got pregnant with my 3rd and it cured my insomnia. I was so happy– and now he is 3 months and its back full force. Its torture. I just saw an endocrinologist and he thinks i have low progesterone. I have to quit BF-ing to start taking it. How long did the evening primrose oil take to help you? Did you ever end up getting on the progesterone?
Hi Hollie,
I know eactly hle u feel. I hate that we have to go through this amd I wish someone would have told me about this prior.
Well I would say it took about a month. But I did have 1 night after the month where I experienced insomnia and that was it. I hate saying this but you know the saying everyone is different…so it may be sooner for u or longer. I did not have to actually take the progesterone because he EPO worked for me.
Let me know if you need anything else or just to talk 🙂
Thank you for this comment Renee.i also started taking Epo and it has helped me tremendously.for how long did you continue taking it.i have been taking it for a month now.
I started taking estrogen replacement and was the best thing I EVER did. Horrible insomnia for YEARS after having a baby. My mom died of a heart attack in her 50s and I didn’t want to go down the same road. Blood tests for hormones always normal and they always will be because didn’t show symptoms of vaginal dryness, insomnia…I truly feel doctors need to start LISTENING to their patients and the WHO can take their hormone replacement fears and shove it up their you know what…
I stumbled across this page during a late night Google search … i’ve been suffering from insomnia since the birth of my daughter 11 weeks ago .. its awful some nights I get no sleep at all but im averaging on about 3 hours
I’m at a loss of what to do .. I panic all day about bedtime and when it arrives I suffer horrible panic attacks .. my doctor just gave me a leaflet on managing anxiety which was no help
I wish I knew where to turn for help
Hi Emily,
Sleep deprivation is so awful. I’m so sorry. You are right, a leaflet isn’t enough help. I’m hoping that there is a provider on our list near you so you can get some real help. Here is the link for that – http://postpartumprogress.com/womens-mental-health-treatment-programs-specialists-us-canada-australia
Please let me know if you have questions. I’m sending you peace, mama.
Hi emily— i have had insomnia since the birth of my second child when she was around 3 months old… (its been 3 1/2 years now). I just had another baby and although it went away when i was pregnant, it came back when he was 6 weeks old. I have been to every doctor, tried acupuncture, tried pills, tried hypnosis, you name it. Its been a long journey. The only thing that has worked for me has been sleep restriction and honestly- to stop letting me google about sleep cures and stop obsessing over it. If you want to email me directly, my email is hollie@ebby.com. I have been and am still dealing with this and it is torture, but I can help make some suggestions that I think will help you get through it. My email is hollie@ebby.com if you want to shoot me a note.
Hi Hollie would you mind if I email you about this? I have 8 month old twins and have been unable to sleep since they were about 6 weeks old. I have tried many things as well and am interested in trying the sleep restriction as I am running out of options . I’m just not sure how to go about it when I still have babies or a toddler waking me up.
Hi Hollie,
I just emailed you about this
I’m so glad I found this blog! This feels like a safe place to my story. I’ve always been a great sleeper (I would get 9 hrs regularly before I got pregnant) and I LOVE sleep! Around my 2nd trimester I began to experience insomnia. After about 4 weeks of trying everything I could think of (meditation, yoga, focused breathing, chamomile tea, etc, etc) my OBGYN recommended Benadryl. It helped for a couple nights, then had the reverse effect. So she then recommended Unisom, which did the trick! By 3rd trimester I was sleeping well again, and even went off the Unisom. In the final weeks of my pregnancy I had some trouble sleeping again, but I was no longer working so I just managed it with naps during the day.
And then the nightmare truly began. I was admitted to the hospital with low fluid when I was 5 days past my due date, and induced. Labor hadn’t even started yet when my baby’s heart rate started dropping. My doctor abruptly announced that we needed to do a C-section. In retrospect, I believe at that moment I had a panic attack but didn’t know it because I had never had one before. I believe I also had a reaction to the anethesia. I’ve always been super sensitive to caffeine and drugs like sudafed, etc. I could feel a warm pulsation through my body for days after the surgery. Maybe it was just hormones, I don’t know. During the 4 days I was in the hospital, I slept a total of only 1 or 2 hrs per night. I thought it was just because there was so much activity – a nurse or housekeeping or someone constantly coming and going from the room, along with learning to breastfeed, etc. But when we came home, it didn’t get any better. I began to feel like a zombie. I couldn’t focus during the day, I tossed and turned when I tried to sleep. I would look at my face in the mirror and not recognize myself. I began to loose sensation in my fingers. And I felt like I was beginning to loose touch with reality. By day 7, when I had slept a TOTAL of about 10 hours since the surgery, I went to the emergency room. I was given Ativan by IV and an Rx for Ambien. I slept a whopping 5 hours that night. Not enough to catch up on all I had missed the past week. But I was determined to breastfeed, so the next day the cycle started again. Without the Ativan, I slept very little. By day 10, when I had taken a Benadrly and 2 Unisoms and still couldn’t fall asleep, I considered checking into a psychiatric hospital. My thoughts had become so dark. I felt trapped. I didn’t feel like I could give my baby what she needed, but felt solely responsible for her survival. People kept asking me if I wanted to hurt myself, and it got to the point where I truly couldn’t answer. I didn’t want to die, but I felt like I didn’t want to live if this is what it was going to be like. I fantasized about getting in the car and driving to the middle of nowhere and checking into a hotel where I would never be found. My mom was visiting that day, and gave me an Ativan out of her purse (she takes it for her own anxiety), and for the first time I felt like I could breath. I called my doctor’s office and said I wanted a Rx for Ativan. I knew it meant I wouldn’t be able to breastfeed, and I was devastated about that. But I felt it was my only option. Not breastfeeding seemed better than winding up in a psych ward. Or worse. My doc asked me to come in right away, and started me on 25 mg of Zoloft and gave me the Ativan to help me sleep. My husband (like someone else’s I read on here) was my hero and my champion, and took the night shift. We switched to formula, and he stayed upstairs at night with her while I slept in the bedroom downstairs.
And that’s the way it’s been! My baby is 7 weeks old now. I’m starting to feel more normal. My baby is thriving and I am bonding with her. I’ve tried a couple times not taking the Ativan at night, but it doesn’t go well. The panicky thoughts are decreasing, though, on the nights when I get little sleep. I appreciate the suggsetions on here to not look at the clock (I’m definitely guilty of that, and calculating how much sleep I MIGHT get if I can just fall asleep!). Also the magnesium. I had used it some during pregnancy and it helped. I had completely forgotten about it, but plan to take some tonight. I see my doctor tomorrow, and will ask her about getting my hormone levels checked.
For anyone who might be reading this and is at the place where I was those weeks ago (just a step away from hospitalization or self harm), please get help! PPD/A is chemical. I wasn’t able to control it on my own, despite my most valiant attempts. Reach out for help. Talk to people. Share what’s truly going on inside. There is help! And it does get better. I’m slowly beginning to become myself again. But it requires medication, and I’m choosing not to have shame about that.
It helps so much to read these comments. It really validates what I went through a year ago. I also thought insomnia, and anxiety about insomnia, was my worst symptom. I remember starting to panic about 4 pm because night was coming, and I dreaded that anxious wakefulness so much.
I found a therapist and psychiatrist who helped me. What helped was: Lexapro kicking in- as it built up in my system I slept much better. Sleep routine- I got in bed at the same time each night and turned the light off and read with a booklight or on my phone (dimmed with black background). Boring novels ONLY, no internet. Also no exciting movies or intense conversations before bed. Calm and boring stuff for an hour before bed, no matter what. I usually watched funny stuff. I took Trazadone to help me fall asleep. My psychiatrist says it’s safe with breastfeeding. It didn’t always put me to sleep, but most of the time. It helped me stay asleep and go back to sleep after nursing. After doing all of that, the sleepless nights spread out. They became more frequent for a bit, and I increased my Lexapro dose, and then they became rare. The worst part was waiting for the anxiety about sleep to fade. It honestly has taken most of a year. Now that it has faded, I am less strict about routine. But it still helps me get more rest. Parenting when tired sucks so bad. I can’t believe that I am saying that I feel normal now. I didn’t believe I ever would again. I still am to afraid to give up the Trazadone. But I’m not afraid to go to bed, hallelujah!
I am a second time mum to a 12 month old baby.i have been having insomnia since he was 8 months old.Renee Carter what hormone was tested on you and found to be low.please help
I never had a problem sleeping until I got pregnant with my daughter. Like lots of others it started in second trimester and I would wake up around 2 and not get back to sleep.
I spoke to a doctor who didn’t take me seriously and recommended screen detox, etc. I didn’t know I could ask for medication. His tips didn’t help so I found this CBT guide online which did improve things for a while as it helped me view sleep differently –
https://www.umassmed.edu/globalassets/psychiatry/cbti/overcoming_insomnia_session_3.pdf
I don’t agree with the section on sleep medication though as this is what helped me in the end when things got worse.
The insomnia got worse when my baby arrived and I stopped breastfeeding at around 5 months. I couldn’t get back to sleep once I woke up around 1 or 2 am. Then it got worse still and I couldn’t fall asleep at the start of the night either. I was getting only a few hours for months.
It started to break me and I remember screaming into a pillow in the spare room and totally losing control crying. Been trying to think of the right words to describe how I felt at the time and I’d say it was despair and hopelessness, because I didn’t think anyone could help me or that it would ever get better. It was the worst time in my life.
I went to doctor again (different surgery as we had moved) and told them I needed help and I wanted to try medication. I started taking mirtazipine before bed and have slept fine every night ever since. It makes me sleepy and fights my anxiety. I also take propanalol in the day which helps the anxiety too. At the start I could even wake up, feed my daughter and get back to sleep easily.
If you are struggling, please, please speak to your GP and get help, medication if necessary. Don’t feel like it’s hopeless. I really wish I had got help sooner because I wouldn’t have had to suffer and put strain on my family.
I have problems sleeping and I have all my life. Tried the ambien solution but I’m to young for that and it gave me stomach issues so I had to stop. Plus it has bad reviews. I struggle with turning my mind off at night and getting anxious because of it. I really want to find a solution. I’m newly married and it does affect my health.
Hi Cassie, I imagine you don’t check this anymore but just wanted to let you know how much this comment has meant to me as I recover from PPD/PPA. i have felt so guilty about needing klonopin for sleep and fearful of addiction. hearing that you were able to slowly wean off makes me feel hopeful. i get stuck in the constant loop that i will never be able to sleep “naturally” again. but without the meds and less sleep, my anxiety and depression take over. hope you are well. thanks for sharing your story here.