Postpartum OCD survivor Angela Nazworth writes a very compelling description of her second battle with postpartum depression, OCD and anxiety on the website (In)Courage. She shares how she changed her perspective on how to tackle this monster, which hit her much worse the second time around, and also how her spirituality helped guide her through.
Many of her descriptions hit home for me, in particular the "what if" intrusive thoughts, the belief that your child will never love you, and the ability to go to sleep at first but after you get up to feed the baby you can't go back to sleep.
Here's a tidbit:
"I only stood becauseno chair could hold me. My legs shook visibly from the trembling sensation radiating from my waist down to my toes. I balled my fingers tight into fists and held them close to my chest in an effort to stop pinching my neck. I did not wish to appear even less stable, although next to the confession I had just made, I do not think it would have mattered. Beside me, my husband exhaled slowly and shifted his weight from foot to foot as he absorbed the words my psychiatrist spoke to him about me.
'This situation has dangerously escalated. If there has ever been the time to use the term nervous breakdown, it is now. Your wife needs to either be hospitalized or put under the close care of family members. If you are unable to make a decision, I am prepared to send staff from the local psychiatric hospital to your home this afternoon to have her committed.'"
