Tyra Banks focused her show yesterday on postpartum depression. She included a psychiatrist as a guest on the segment, who provided the usual list of things depressed new moms should do for our depression: prioritize, sleep when the baby sleeps, avoid isolating, etc. Looking at the list made me think about the fact that, when you're depressed, you couldn't care less about lists. Lists are for those people who actually want to DO things. You know, like Martha Stewart … women who get up at 5am ready to tackle the day, do some ashtanga yoga, whip up a pumpkin souffle, give their baby a massage, plant an autumnal container garden and fashion a Christmas tree out of pipe cleaners (see below).
From what I remember, I couldn't really do much of anything. What I really wanted to do when I was depressed was stay in bed and do nothing. It took a monumental effort to get up and do my best to take care of myself and my newborn in between bouts of sobbing. I think someone giving me a list of things to do would have made me feel like I was being crushed under a Buick.
I realize, of course, that people are only trying to help by providing suggestions of things that will help us get through the day positively. But I'm not sure they know that it usually takes a rational person to execute a list. When you're not rational or logical, it becomes very difficult to do rational and logical things. So if you give us a list and we don't do much or any of it, don't give up on us. We'll get there. It takes time. And remember that people don't recover from postpartum depression just because they follow a list, but because they get proper medical care and love and support from the people around them.
I like the perspective of this blogger at Impacted Nurse who says: "My advice is to never take much notice of anyone who purports to be able to improve your life in ten bullet-point steps… unless you know them very well and they are proof writ large of the effectiveness of their list." For a good laugh about list-making, check this out from The Onion.
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You are so right on with this! I am functional…. I can get up and take care of my girls. But I can't do lists… I'm lucky to get through the day without wanting to go hide somewhere. Thank you for the reminder to keep it simple til I'm back up to 'list form' again.
Couldn't agree more…when I was in the dredges of PPD, I couldn't even complete one simple task (like make a bottle)…let alone even consider making a list. As you said, proper medical attention is crutial to getting better! To beingmade…don't worry, you'll be back to "list form" soon…keep your head up!!! (0:
You all are so right. I was watching the show from the perspective of, "YES!!! They are talking about PPD, on national TV!!!" I even had a mom contact me, having seen the show. I wish I had had the word, "Postpartum" when I went through it. What a relief to know I wouldn't go "crazy" just any old time, any old where again. …not that doing so at some point surrounding a birth is better–just more predictable than "major depressive disorder". Thanks, doc. And at the same time, thanks doc for getting me back to being myself. Phew!
It's really a nutritional issue. From PubMed:
Beard JL, Hendricks MK, Perez EM, ET AL. Maternal iron deficiency anemia affects postpartum emotions and cognition. J Nutr. 2005 Feb; 135(2): 267-72.
Crayton JW, Walsh WJ. Elevated serum copper levels in women with a history of post-partum depression. J Trace Elem Med Biol. 2007; 21(1) :17-21.
De Vriese SR, Christophe AB, Maes M. Lowered serum n-3 polyunsaturated fatty acid (PUFA) levels predict the occurrence of postpartum depression: further evidence that lowered n-PUFAs are related to major depression. Life Sci. 2003 Nov 7; 73(25): 3181-7.
I remember my therapist suggesting a list for me. and suggesting putting on make up. acting "as if". I see the point but the anxiety I got from the thought of having to make a list was just too much.
confused about joe's comment. I took the omega pills. I get that they support good mental health but has he ever had ppd? what is pubmed? who did this research?
Loved this article. I'm new to blogging on this site and love what I see. I had severe post partum depression with my kids and didn't recieve any help. I even called my Dr. after the 2cd child and she told me to get outside more, etc…
Wow….and making list…I'm glad to hear about this. I still have some depression in my life so this is good to see. When I'm not feeling well…I can remember to take it easy.
Thanks,
Tracey Huguley