[Editor’s Note: Happy to have the fab Robin Farr here today talking about what to do when you hit a bump on the road to recovery from PPD. -Katherine]
In my last couple of posts (one for the Mother’s Day Rally and one of my regular contributions), I talked about having a baby after PPD and how my experience with my second child seems to be going well so far. Now, in the spirit of honesty, I wanted to share here that I hit a little bit of a bump in the road.
My goal for the last few months has been to wean off anti-depressants sometime over the summer. By that point, after a spell of antenatal depression while I was pregnant last spring, I should have been feeling well long enough for it to be worth a shot. But things went a little downhill.
I’m not sure what triggered it, if anything, but I’ve had some rough days in the last few weeks. Some anger, some weepiness, some “what’s the point” days, which is always a sign that the depression is creeping back in. So instead of talking to my psychiatrist about weaning, I talked to her about a new plan.
In the end, after some good conversation about what I’m struggling with and what I’m doing about it—and I am doing lots of things, like trying to eat well and exercise and get enough sleep—we decided we’d add a medication to see if that helps me feel more stable.
And I have to tell you that I was really not enthusiastic about having to do that. I didn’t want to add something and have to deal with side effects and wonder if it was going to work and continue on this merry-go-round. But crying over little orange pills wasn’t going to get me anywhere, so I put on my big girl panties and swallowed one. That was just over a week ago and so far I’m feeling way, way better. Here’s hoping!
So why am I telling you all this? Because I’m big on keeping it real. And because sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to go. I’m sure some of you have experienced that and I want you to know you’re not alone.
But I’m also sharing this because the one thing I’ve learned from my PPD experience so far is that it’s so, so important to get help when you need help. I didn’t do that the first time and it made recovering so much harder.
So if you need help and haven’t asked for help, come over here and take my hand. We’ll each take a deep breath and then we’ll both accept the help we need. Deal?
~ Robin Farr