I hear from so many women who think that if they could just do more they would be able to get better from postpartum depression … as if it is some personal failing that they even have postpartum depression or anxiety or postpartum psychosis. If they were just stronger then this wouldn’t be an issue. If they worked out harder or were a better mother or [fill in the blank here], they could get through this on their own.
I’m calling BS on that.
P.S. If you look closely, you can see my cat. He wants to get in on the video action.
Oh, and please somebody tell me I don't look like an idiot on these videos. Somebody. Anybody. Cause I feel like I look like an idiot.
you do not look like an idiot. I liked the first one you did – will watch this one later. The videos make a nice change from the usual posts – keep on doing them please!
Thank you much for this. It meant a great deal to me. My DD's tenth birthday is coming up next week, and that's bringing on a lot of reflection and contemplation. I never received help for my PPD, so in a way I did tough it out. I made some changes on my own, giving up breastfeeding (which brought me down from severe PPD to manageable PPD), and developing coping skills, but I was pretty much on my own. But I'm not proud, and I don't consider it an accomplishment. I think of it as four and a half months of anguish that could have been so much easier with the right help. Interestingly, I date the beginning of my recovery from the time my DH began to think for himself instead of listening to crap from false friends. Very gently, he said to me, "I just don't think staying at home full time is working out for you. I think you need to get a part-time job." That was the first time he showed real insight and understanding into my problem, and it made a HUGE difference. It made me realize that if I had gotten that sort of understanding earlier, I might have been spared four months of hell. So suffering moms, get help. Even if you can tough it out, you have nothing to gain by doing so. You have a lot to gain from proper help.
P.S. I loved the cat peeking through the window!
You don't look like an idiot on these videos. There, I've said it:)
This one is great, especially considering I often get the same women calling me just because they need someone to remind them that they are ill and not to blame. I just know this one is gonna help tons of women that can now get that reminder with a simple click of a finger!
After I went through my own PPOCD experience, I knew I wasn't 'tough' enough to do it on my own. But I vividly remember coaching a close friend who was in denial that she needed help. She claimed, "the (Smiths) don't get help. We're 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps type of people." Fortunately, not long after that she decided she couldn't do it alone.
I am new to this blog or any type of blogging for that matter. I watched this video and of course was moved to tears because I could have bet you were talking about me. I am a two time survivor of PPOCD, PPA, and PPPTSS (never thought of myself as a "survivor" until I read your blod-thanks for that!). When my daughter was born (4 years ago) I started having panic attacks 4 weeks later (amongest many other things that seemed to come from out of no where) I was told that I was just making myself sick by my family and others around me so I did what I do best…I sucked it up! I sucked it up for 16 dark miserable months and somehow held dowm my job as a HR consultant for the state I live in until I became so sick my doctor ordered me to stop working because I could no longer drive (I was a danger to the public and myself).
I always prided myself on hard work, determination and perserverence. I also am very competive in nature as a former athlete in HS and College. My type A personality is sorta what I liked about myself and what I contributed to being somewhat "successful". Well, now I have learned that being too prideful and stubburn are also cousins of all those "good" attributes I thought I was. I swore I would never have another baby not because I did't want to have one but becuase I could NOT go thru what I did with my daughter again and could not put my family thru what I did again. Well, to our suprise we had a son, 1 year ago! I was terrrified but more aware this time around. I got the helped I needed and had formed such a good team of caregivers (primary doctor, obgyn, therapist and a more educated family on PPD) that this time I was determined to get out of my own way and enjoy this angel I had been given.
My hope and prayer at night is that women can realize and become more aware that it is not a matter of being "tough or strong" it is a matter of honoring and trusting yourself that you simply need help to heal just as you would get help if you were a diabetic or in my case a injuried knee. Those injuries or illnesses are tangible and people can "see" that you are hurting. PPD is invisible and lots of people have never even heard of it so there is judgment but your not alone. Maybe one day, our children, my daughter if ever faced with PPD, will not have to suffer and endure such hardship like I did because some very brave and resilent survivors paved a new way and literally moved mountains and shook some tress to be heard. Thank you for your blog and thank you for your passion because us women, can move mountains when we stand together and support one another and literally change the world.
Thanks HK! I feel so stupid watching myself on video. I'm sure most people do!
Thank YOU, and thank you for sharing your story! So glad to have you here!
Thank you for this. I felt like you had read my mind and called me out on thinking all of those things. I'm glad the volunteer from the warmline told me about this blog.
You are awesome in this video! You speak from the heart and never stumbled over a single word. Thanks for your inspiration. My son is 11 months old & I am still having crying episodes.
I'm in nursing school and have lived through alot. I'm one of the "strong, confident women" that everyone else always admires (if they only knew!). I walked out of clinical lab crying one day and when I talked to the nurse who was grading me later, she thought I was just a perfectionist and argued with me about it. When I told her I was going through the change or something, she totally doubted it. Seems the tougher we are the more the world wants us to be — what are we doing to ourselves?