Ten years. How can it be ten years already?

It was on June 20, 2001, that the tragedy happened. Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the midst of postpartum psychosis. That was just a few months before my sweet boy, my first child, was born in September.

In the fall of 2001, I was suffering. Scared and sick and feeling as though I was the worst mother in the world. And I kept seeing Andrea’s face, the image of her repeated so many times on the TV screen looking so slack and empty, standing there in her orange jumpsuit. I believed it was possible that I was her. I could be standing there, too.

I didn’t know about the spectrum of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. I didn’t realize the difference between the intrusive thoughts of postpartum OCD and the delusions of postpartum psychosis. I didn’t know there were hundreds of thousands of women suffering at the very same time alongside of me. As if the symptoms of these illnesses aren’t enough, we are further traumatized by the stigma and lack of support and services available to us when we suffer them.

I know that the tragedy of the Yates family created more awareness. I know I should be looking at all that has been accomplished over the last ten years, butI just don’t feel like saying “It’s been 10 years and look how much has changed!”

Maybe it’s because I hear from so many of you each and every day who still feel confused and stigmatized. There are still so many who don’t know where to go or what to do to get help, or for whom help is not available because of where you live or how much you can afford. Instead, I feel like shouting, “It’s been 10 years, and why is it that doctors are still telling moms they’ve never heard of antenatal depression or postpartum OCD?! Why is it that only 15% of women are receiving treatment for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders?! Why have none of the funds for the Mother’s Act been appropriated?”

I don’t want to stand by and watch as another family falls victim to these illnesses, and another and another. It’s not okay that mothers and babies die, or that mothers sit in jail or psychiatric wards for the rest of their lives. It’s not okay that friends and families grieve. I can’t accept how many mothers never get the help they need, and endlessly fret about how their suffering may have harmed their children.

We shouldn’t need a tragedy to be motivated to take action to support the mental health of our nation’s mothers. Where are you, powerful brands and foundations with the money to help us? Don’t you know that treating PPD is one of the best deals around? It’s a buy-one-get-one-free, because when you ensure the mental health of the mom you are protecting the mental health of the child.

Where are you, mothers of America, including all of those who’ve never had PPD and never will? Do you realize this is an issue that affects us all? Even if you haven’t had postpartum depression, your daughter or your son’s wife might. Someone in your neighborhood or temple or congregation or office may need a lifeline. You may someday be teaching a child whose mother was never treated, or working with a husband who is desperate to find help for his wife. Will the resources you seek then be available to you?

Ten years later, in view of all the Yates family and so many other families have sacrificed, we must collectively demand that more is done to address the most common complication of childbirth. It shouldn’t be just perinatal mood and anxiety disorder advocates and sufferers who care about this. It should be every single entity that has any concern whatsoever for the health of America’s families.