I heard from Meeka Centimano this week of the Postpartum Resource Center of Kansas. She is understandably upset about the recentloss of two different mothers in Kansas to suicide as a result of postpartum depression. I asked Meeka, who is also a coordinator for PSI in the state of Kansas,to share her thoughts with the readers of Postpartum Progress:
We have suffered a second suicide in Kansas City in the last calendar year. Two hangings; both women felt so hopeless and had such a strong will and intent to die. Two women that left behind little girls less than two months of age.
Neither of theseheartbreaking situationswere or will be headlines here. These mothersweren't anyone "noteworthy" in the media's eyes. They are, instead, two tragedies that will stay under the radar, shrouded in guilt, shame and quiet grief. This illness is insidious and gripping. It is maddening and crushing for me, andfor anyone who has survived the darkness and come out on the other side to find happiness and connection to their baby. As a survivor of postpartum depression, the founder of a social support organization, and a therapist in private practice who sees mothers every day, I ask myself every time: Who was helping them? Why didn't the Postpartum Resource Center of Kansas know about them? Can we ever work hard enough and fast enough? We march on in our little revolution to help suffering moms, but the battle gets tiring.
What is know for sure is that these situations are very complicated in nature. Recovery isn't just about the wrong medication, the wrong amount or no medication at all. It isn't just about not having supportive people around them or the lack of connection to mothers that have walked in their shoes. It isn't just about working through painful family history, family baggage or loss. It is a complicated combination of ALL THREE, and more.
Be bold in your own life. Call the doctor with an open mind and a willingness to consider medical treatment. Muster the courage to pick up the phone and call the therapist you don't know who may be able to help you learn to cope, reflect on the past and find hope in your future. Consider a support group even if you think it isn't for you. And reach out to people that love you. There is hope you cannot see.
In my family we have a rule that a promise is a promise. We do not make a promise we cannot fulfill — even our 9-year-old knows that. So consider help of all types. If you do, you will feel like yourself again. I promise.
— Meeka Centimano, LCSW
Amen, Meeka. And thanks to you and everyone in Kansas who works so hard to help so many.
